i'll be on leave tomorrow, planned to be mugging for my mid-sem test on Sat. today i went to work earlier than usual as i've some really urgent bids to clear. in addition, i had quite alot of stuff which had to get it off my hand by today. still, the usual 8 working hours were still not enough... so i worked overtime, stretching my working time to more than 12 hours. i was so drained.... yet when i left the office, i couldn't bear to go on leave because i knew my work were still pending.
from the start of the week, i was already hounded by alot of work. worked late almost everyday and to one point in time, i almost wanted to break down. if it wasn't due to my PMS, i wouldn't have felt this way. so much work, so little time, and i felt like drowning. sometimes the moment i reached to the office, sat on my desk, i didnt know which to start 1st. hated that feeling coz' i knew my gears were not ready for the day. it'll usually take a while but by then you knew it, almost the morning was gone... sigh.
i guess i'll sleep in till late morning tomorrow, have a good bfast and whisk myself off to the library to do some serious studying. that's prolly the only place on earth which would get me in the study mood. perhaps, like old times, i'll travel to Marine Parade library to study. what about my room? too cosy!
alright, hope all goes well for my studying in the day and i'll meet Bel and Mun for dinner.
it's going to be Friday again, and it gets me all excited just thinking about it. yes, i'm still smiling despite being awfully drained. the only killjoy for now: that stupid test.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Sunday, September 06, 2009
maybe PMS-ing
havent been updating for a while... lack of the proper brain juice to blog. then again, nothing much happening around me though...
life's pretty much a bore right now, so sucked into my daily routine over the week. other than work over the weekdays, gym and hanging out with angmoh on Sat, and ultimate nuahz and cleaning up my room on Sun, nothing else is on the list. now i don't really go for weekly drinking with the boys in my company coz i'm just not too keen about that. also, i realize tht if i would to stay up late on Fri plus some booze, i can't really catch up my breathe during workout at gym.
anyways, i'm having some muscle aches on my thighs and my arms. i told angmoh, and he laughed at me, commenting that i only exercise once a week so i can't expect much. tmd. and he was rolling his eyes when i told him i only exercised once a week! wah lau, what's wrong with that lor!?! at least i exercise right? riiiight??? bleah!
sigh. it'll be nice to have someone i can cuddle with right now... pout. oh well...
and i dread to know it's Sept already, and Gerald had to remind me that my bday is coming soon. i so don't want to turn 25 lar! yes, even though age is just a number, but you can't just be totally oblivious to it. especially when you know you'll get wrinkles, saggy boobs, and maybe residing hairlines. and most importantly, youth is already becoming a history chapter in your life. hmm, not entirely very exciting to grow old. unless, i'm making big bucks to indulge myself in Spa, endless short getaways, and collagen, then perhaps it'll be slightly different. will i ever get to that mark? well, it'll be a reasonable long-term goal. so for now, just whine. =P
okay, i think i should stop whining abit and go get myself some dinner. hmm, what should i eat?
life's pretty much a bore right now, so sucked into my daily routine over the week. other than work over the weekdays, gym and hanging out with angmoh on Sat, and ultimate nuahz and cleaning up my room on Sun, nothing else is on the list. now i don't really go for weekly drinking with the boys in my company coz i'm just not too keen about that. also, i realize tht if i would to stay up late on Fri plus some booze, i can't really catch up my breathe during workout at gym.
anyways, i'm having some muscle aches on my thighs and my arms. i told angmoh, and he laughed at me, commenting that i only exercise once a week so i can't expect much. tmd. and he was rolling his eyes when i told him i only exercised once a week! wah lau, what's wrong with that lor!?! at least i exercise right? riiiight??? bleah!
sigh. it'll be nice to have someone i can cuddle with right now... pout. oh well...
and i dread to know it's Sept already, and Gerald had to remind me that my bday is coming soon. i so don't want to turn 25 lar! yes, even though age is just a number, but you can't just be totally oblivious to it. especially when you know you'll get wrinkles, saggy boobs, and maybe residing hairlines. and most importantly, youth is already becoming a history chapter in your life. hmm, not entirely very exciting to grow old. unless, i'm making big bucks to indulge myself in Spa, endless short getaways, and collagen, then perhaps it'll be slightly different. will i ever get to that mark? well, it'll be a reasonable long-term goal. so for now, just whine. =P
okay, i think i should stop whining abit and go get myself some dinner. hmm, what should i eat?
Saturday, August 22, 2009
on a serious note...
i guess i always tend to know things that i shouldn't know and in the end, i had sworn secrecy over it. it's not about the secret i have to bear with me to the grave, but more of the question to something else: why do people get married? do they get married becoz' of love or out of obligations? or it's a mixed of both?
there are just so many questions going through my mind right now, so tough to organize them.
"don't marry someone you can live with; marry someone you can't live without", is that true or it's just a saying? when you're told that he/she never felt this way with his/her partner in a marriage before, you start to wonder if this person married for the right reasons. and do they even think hard enough before taking the plunge? or it's a matter of "going with the flow..."? then again, is it that difficult to maintain the kind of sparks in a marriage? when there're no more sparks, does that spell the end of a marriage, regardless how much the couple went through?
things like that makes me wonder and eventually gets cynical. it's no wonder why some people would end up being single for the rest of their lives. hearing stories like these doesn't give singles like me any kind of security. yes, anything could've happen. but when you're being told that, "this is not just a fling and we're serious about each other" despite being married, values taught to stay faithful to a marriage is no longer there. i'm not implying these people have no values; it's that people would be more willing to follow their heart than doing what's right or wrong anymore.
sometimes i wonder is it because as we aged, we tend to do things with our heart than with the head. after all, time is ticking away and we began to realize how important it is to be truly happy with what we have and achieve for things we don't. yet back then in our younger days, we sincerely think that we have the whole life to spend.
for me, i realize i'm slowly switching from a head-person to a heart-person. things i've done are right out of my heart, respecting how i felt and act upon what my heart tells me to do. unbashfully, i felt good when it's done right out from the heart even though consequences can be nasty. but i think as long as you don't end up letting yourself down, there shouldn't have any regrets. same goes to marriage - it should be what i want deep down, and not what i have i do. ultimately, happiness and love inter-twines each other. and yes, i want to be happy, for as long as it would last.
like duh.
there are just so many questions going through my mind right now, so tough to organize them.
"don't marry someone you can live with; marry someone you can't live without", is that true or it's just a saying? when you're told that he/she never felt this way with his/her partner in a marriage before, you start to wonder if this person married for the right reasons. and do they even think hard enough before taking the plunge? or it's a matter of "going with the flow..."? then again, is it that difficult to maintain the kind of sparks in a marriage? when there're no more sparks, does that spell the end of a marriage, regardless how much the couple went through?
things like that makes me wonder and eventually gets cynical. it's no wonder why some people would end up being single for the rest of their lives. hearing stories like these doesn't give singles like me any kind of security. yes, anything could've happen. but when you're being told that, "this is not just a fling and we're serious about each other" despite being married, values taught to stay faithful to a marriage is no longer there. i'm not implying these people have no values; it's that people would be more willing to follow their heart than doing what's right or wrong anymore.
sometimes i wonder is it because as we aged, we tend to do things with our heart than with the head. after all, time is ticking away and we began to realize how important it is to be truly happy with what we have and achieve for things we don't. yet back then in our younger days, we sincerely think that we have the whole life to spend.
for me, i realize i'm slowly switching from a head-person to a heart-person. things i've done are right out of my heart, respecting how i felt and act upon what my heart tells me to do. unbashfully, i felt good when it's done right out from the heart even though consequences can be nasty. but i think as long as you don't end up letting yourself down, there shouldn't have any regrets. same goes to marriage - it should be what i want deep down, and not what i have i do. ultimately, happiness and love inter-twines each other. and yes, i want to be happy, for as long as it would last.
like duh.
Monday, August 10, 2009
I'm Unpatriotic
I was pretty much used to spending time alone at home most of my weekends. only some nights, i'll go drinking with "the lads" from UPS who gladly treated me as "one of the lads". just chill and chat, and chat some more... so usually i would just sleep in the day, woke up in in the afternoon, do some chores and clean that smelly dog, and then watched TV. so i was happily hooked on the Taiwanese variety shows till i realized it was already 9pm: the National Day Parade was over. shit.
there was so much hype about getting everyone possible to say the pledge at 8.22pm sharp. i thought it was a great idea to get the nation involved, even though they may not be watching the parade at home. i mean, for once, feel Singaporean. i guess i was too engrossed with my own entertainment till i totally forgotten about it. seriously, missing the huge part of the parade is one thing, i literally skipped the whole damn thing. i'm ashamed. how i know i missed the parade? i happened to switch back to the local channels, and i saw the news came on with some snapshots of the parade. great.
i didn't even know the parade ends at 9pm lor... so wrong of me. i should be packing my bags and migrate to Sentosa.
i went to watch the preview with my mum quite a few years ago. even though it was only the preview, i thought watching the parade live beats having to watch from the black box. Bellie had the tix, for actual day (mind you), and she too, totally enjoyed the whole event. i'm like so envious can! as long as the parade would be held at the floating platform, chances of getting the tix are less than 1%. why? think about it: all participants in the parade would be given 4 to 6 tix. that's prolly a good quarter of the seats taken. and then, another quarter of the tix are given to members of parliament and all those important people. so what are remaining? you go fig.
then again, even though i missed the whole national parade thing, i still love where i'm born and bred. and i feel so part of Singapore when i sing those songs myself while bathing okay! i may be "unfilial" to not catch the parade and celebrate as a nation, but this is Home: Bedok North Street 1, thank you.
if you find another Bedok North Street 1 in Zimbawe, there must have been some mistake....
there was so much hype about getting everyone possible to say the pledge at 8.22pm sharp. i thought it was a great idea to get the nation involved, even though they may not be watching the parade at home. i mean, for once, feel Singaporean. i guess i was too engrossed with my own entertainment till i totally forgotten about it. seriously, missing the huge part of the parade is one thing, i literally skipped the whole damn thing. i'm ashamed. how i know i missed the parade? i happened to switch back to the local channels, and i saw the news came on with some snapshots of the parade. great.
i didn't even know the parade ends at 9pm lor... so wrong of me. i should be packing my bags and migrate to Sentosa.
i went to watch the preview with my mum quite a few years ago. even though it was only the preview, i thought watching the parade live beats having to watch from the black box. Bellie had the tix, for actual day (mind you), and she too, totally enjoyed the whole event. i'm like so envious can! as long as the parade would be held at the floating platform, chances of getting the tix are less than 1%. why? think about it: all participants in the parade would be given 4 to 6 tix. that's prolly a good quarter of the seats taken. and then, another quarter of the tix are given to members of parliament and all those important people. so what are remaining? you go fig.
then again, even though i missed the whole national parade thing, i still love where i'm born and bred. and i feel so part of Singapore when i sing those songs myself while bathing okay! i may be "unfilial" to not catch the parade and celebrate as a nation, but this is Home: Bedok North Street 1, thank you.
if you find another Bedok North Street 1 in Zimbawe, there must have been some mistake....
Sunday, August 02, 2009
it all makes sense now...
i guess, sometimes all we have to do is to wait. waiting alone can be really frustrating, especially when most of the time i don't know what's going on and things like that. 2 months of waiting, in vain, and it all comes quite clear to me already. it's all in a game i'm trapped in. selfish people lay some emotional games and rolled me in willingly, at the end of the day, i'm glad i managed to get myself out of it.
2 months of emotional torture finally ends.
i hope things would still maintain its professionalism and i promise i'll keep to my end of the deal.
hopefully, that'll be the last i'll hear of him, on a personal note.
Never explain yourself to anyone
Because the person who likes you doesn’t need it
And the person who dislikes you won’t believe it
Don’t let someone become a priority in your life
When you are just an option in their life
Relationships work best when they are balanced
We make those who care for us cry
We cry for those who never care for us
And we care for those who will never cry for us
courtesy of Gerald Lim... :)
2 months of emotional torture finally ends.
i hope things would still maintain its professionalism and i promise i'll keep to my end of the deal.
hopefully, that'll be the last i'll hear of him, on a personal note.
Never explain yourself to anyone
Because the person who likes you doesn’t need it
And the person who dislikes you won’t believe it
Don’t let someone become a priority in your life
When you are just an option in their life
Relationships work best when they are balanced
We make those who care for us cry
We cry for those who never care for us
And we care for those who will never cry for us
courtesy of Gerald Lim... :)
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