utterly, utterly disgusted

i know this is like totally none of my business, and i know i know i shouldn't judged but i have no idea why i'm so bothered by what i saw. it caught me as an unpleasant surprise, and i couldn't let it go. so i simply need to get it out of my chest.

In a nutshell....
QC* and her hubby, Nice Guy (NG)*, is heading for a divorce after being married with each other for 4 years.... because a 3rd-party was involved. QC had found a new love, and hence she felt it only be better if they would go their separate ways.


I've known NG quite some time back, when i knew my ex-fiance. he was a totally sweet fella, who would go all out for the woman he loves. if the lady asked him to kill himself to prove his love, he would (or at least i got a feeling he would). QC, not a very popular figure, was always seen manipulating him or chiding him for something petty. she is totally bossy to NG, and many times, put him down in front of us. a few horrors we found her proud enough to share with us: he had to wash her undies for her, and he was made responsible to ensure her blankie covered her all night otherwise if she caught a cold in the morning, it would be his fault. erm, that spoke volume of her, doesn't it? that, was only the tip of the iceberg.

NG is not a well-off man, but really hardworking. knowing he had a disadvantage in the working society due to lack of qualifications, it didn't stop him for putting in hard work to put food on the table for her.

and after all that he had done for her, who sold his soul in exchange for her, she chose to be with a guy 7 years her junior.

many times i ponder back and forth, why a junior? if she chose someone else of way better qualities, like financially stable man to fulfill her dream of being a tai tai, who would be able to indulge her with branded bags and diamond rings, or someone in the high society so she can mingle with the rich and famous, or older man who would give her the securities or whatever, i think i would still hand it to her. but a junior??

is that true love with the junior? erm, well, i would never know but i sincerely doubt so. i only know that juniors are usually more attentive to their partners coz' of the amount of time they have on hand. and at their age, everything is about fun fun fun! and all that cliche quotes of "Living Life to the Max!". oh pish posh! sure, we all went through that age, and it was possibly the best times of my life too. so is that what she wanted? attention? but if she wanted attention, how would the guy able to work hard and build a career, hoping he would be able to give her the life she wanted, and yet juggle with the attention that she insisted?

and i'm actually angry at how disrespectful she really is to NG. she has already let him down, the least she could do is to be low-profile, quickly settle a for a quiet divorce, wish each other the best and move on with her own life. but she had the cheek to post an album of lovey-dovey pictures with her new affair, broadcasting the "green hat" she gave to her still-husband!? an album which is aptly named with a symbol of Love. and she put in simple words how they met, and she melted his heart with her smile and all that cheesy stuff. wow, i'm truly disgusted.

i shall refrain from judging her person. i definitely don't approve with what she's doing to NG, and now, not even her as a person.

i feel sad for her. at 28, if she's still clueless in what she wants for her life, and still think she has all the time to fool around, the world is her oyster and all that crap, well, all the best to her then. i hope that when she decides to wake up from all her ra-ra, she wouldn't realize that she has already past her prime, missed the train.

she (once) had the best, but it didn't seem the best to her, today.

foolish woman.



*names changed for privacy.

From the Heart

have you ever felt so strongly about something that you just know it? i did, and havent been more sure about it. it's so strong that it shook through my bones.

yes it will be him, and i just know it.

time has been put aside, easily taken out of the equation. i guessed i could do that now because i have never been so sure about something, and i would wait even if its eternal. i knew the time would come, and i want to be ready. so now, i'm just cultivating the patience, the inside of me, so when the time comes, i'm ready. some would say i'm being naive, idealistic, and even plain stupid. but these remarks couldn't put me down; in fact these people possibly never feel the way i feel right now, simply because they didn't believe. i don't know who's more pathetic; i only couldn't describe that peace within. the heart tells me to wait, and my mind agreed. i know it'll all fall into place.

i know he has much doubt, about me, about himself, about the possibility of us. it's not for me to clarify, coz it will all come to light. he will get to see for himself.

is this make-believe? well, i don't know. but can you feel this strongly about some make-believes? i don't think so. have i totally erased all doubts? well, i couldn't say yes, because i'm a born worrywart. nevertheless, its truly holding on a faith that is to strong and its hard to ignore.

the time will come.