RE: Hello.

didn't know you would read here. hee. well, u commented about that entry and me too, surprised. coz' i thought it was just like "any other entry" and was really unexpected.

i kinda feel xianglong is quite weird. i mean, since the day he met you, he should be well-aware of your lifestyle and character too. yet, he would put it as "a gap" and he couldnt accept the way you lead your life. to me, it's like, "what the fuck you talking?!"

i believe guyz of your age seriously needs to grow up. saying such things are just not acceptable, and totally irresponsible! but then again, what can you really do when he throw such things at you? if i'm you, i would probably scold the fuck out of him.

i don't know about you, but i'm quite sick of the whole dating game. furthermore, i had a 3-year long r'ship before your brother so i practically know what i'm looking for. if you want me to start another r'ship from scratch, i would rather be a nun.

and anyways, hope you're not offended by what i posted earlier. like i said in the last para of that post, it's purely based on my observation so it would hardly be true. coz' after all, i'm not you and who am i to judge who you are, right?

i won't nag coz' i'm not your mother, i won't discipline coz' i'm not your father. perhaps the best i could do is just keep a watchful eye on you and be here when you need me. all you need to do is - asked.

you're a big girl now and i believe you can handle your life well. it's only you will know what you really want. i guess the last thing i would see from you is crying hysterically, stomping your feet and demanding at the top of your voice for a lollipop. haha.

one of my colleague, E, is filing for a divorce again. this time round, she was taking it so much better than the previous time. i could almost feel her sense of relieve and happiness. perhaps, this time round, things finally came to light.

i couldnt understand why would such bastard exist in this world. seriously, he ought to have a taste of his retribution. i never agree that a "forced" marriage would be the valid reason for treating his wife this way. all just becoz' she got pregnant and he had to marry her. since, he should be responsible!

i'm glad for her. she has finally found freedom and it is like a breakthrough from all the emotionally tormenting period, proudly given by her estranged husband.

all of her close friends, which includes me, anticipating his downfall....

a fliRt? or she is just not ready?

being with her brother for 8 mths, i've seen her in and out of r'ship for 3 months. initially, i was still ok till i kinda lost touch of what really happened. sometimes i wonder what is she thinking...

to me, i portray her as someone quite attractive. she may not make heads turn but at least people would linger their eyes on her that few seconds more. i would say she carries herself pretty well for an 18 year old girl.

a moment she's attached, a few weeks down the road, she posted that she's lonely again.

from what i saw of her, she's that kind of girl who hugs high expectation of her partners. she would go into the r'ship after being swooned over, and when found out that the guy would not be able to fit into her pants, she backed out completely. i feel it's quite irresponsible. in addition, she seems to be expecting the guy to be constantly there for her to lean on, that would shower her unconditional love, be tolerant of her rantings, demands and her bad temper. i'm not surprise if she would dominate him....

of coz, what i've stated is pretty untrue. after all, that's what i see and it's purely based on my observations. i guess i should be more like her bro, "get used to it". furthermore, what business of mine is it anyway? hahaha...

i'm stuck in my thoughts

i suddenly realized that i'm quite easily swayed by good words. no, i don't mean being complimented or praised. just words that sound pleasant to the ear.

my manager spoke to me yesterday and she shared with me her plans. i guess i felt appreciated for the efforts i've put in for the past 4 months. her plans includes having to "promote" me to a higher level, which means higher responsibilities. i don't shun but accept higher challenges. however, it depended on my loyalty to her.

i didn't pledged anything. just that i started to reconsider my plans of continuing studies.

getting a degree has been my objective since secondary school days. plus having a degree-holding brother, i am quite being "forced" to excel as far or better than him. of coz, i am financially restricted. i need to find ways to raise funds for myself in order to attain my objectives.

in addition, this job may be stressful at times, but it's a job which i do not mind carrying on for at least when better offers comes by my way a few years later. and it'll take a few years before i would really be stable and the income would start pouring in in higher amount. if i'm to take that offer, i would to give up my studies.

studies, to me, is something that "you do it now, or just forget it". when i get any older, i have much more other practical plans than studies already. coz' i believe it will come to a stage where studies is not that important anymore. but as for now, i want to excel further since right now, i can't really depend on my experience to get another higher paying jobs.

so what should i do? to cont'd studying or not? which is more impt - academic qualifications or hands-on working experience?

if only growing up is being made easier....

i've been misunderstood

i'm a person who speaks frankly to things that i feel strong about. to me, i'm plainly stating the fact across and it's either you accept it or you simply don't. i seemed worked up, but i'm really alright when the topic is changed.

i know i tend to not choose my words when i talked. i know when i'm frank, i'm really am. i know i have failed to be tactful.

humans are weird. when i have suggested solutions to their problem, they would just shrugged and said it didnt matter that much. and yet the problem just seems to get into them, so they would cont'd complaining to me. when i reminded them the solutions, they would still shrugged and avoided it. for the god-knows-how-many-times they still come and complain, i will shoot my mouth off and telling them they deserve it since they just simply chose the easy way out to avoid it. then i got slapped verbally that i'm just not tactful. "it's the way you put it..." they always state.

i just hate it when people choose to turn a deaf ear to me. if they didnt wanna listen to any suggestions, say so. i will just keep my bloody mouth shut. if not, when i have done my part to help several times and yet still choose to complain, i CANNOT stand it. to me, i will put across the fact that they refuses to LISTEN and so they didnt have the right to complain ('coz i simply don't wanna hear the same stories repeated endlessly). i know the fact sounds awful but if i'm wrong, by all means disagree with me. we can engage in a lifetime argument for a good cause.

i know i hate hearing the fact as well but at least it will set me thinking about my wrong.

this is just me. accept it or just fuck it. i don't need anyone to not understand me and then punish me for being me.

Missing the ol' school days...

i'm out in the cruel society and have slogged my guts out for more than a year. i'm still a greenhorn and lots to learn. yet i'm so not keen. as the saying goes, "the grass is greener on the other side" always rings in my head to snap myself awake. irony.

to me, studying full-time is a blessing in a very good disguise. to top it up, i juggled a part-time work as well for extra income. how i reminise those days where i could just shopped myself some new clothes and not having to feel guilty. after all, that's what extra income for isn't it? heh!

if only life would still be that simple, where all i need is to work a little harder and i'll get to have more money on top of what my parents are giving me. and where you get spoilt brats like Paris Hilton to just party all night long without having to stop a millisecond to think that money-no-enough. Or even having an empire of wealth that would last more than 3 generations....

sigh... some people just have the destined fate to enjoy... while the others slog without having to understand what we live for...


a piece of advice: enjoy life to the fullest, while you're young... coz' you have a whole life to work. =)


it's time to wake up! argh!

mission impossible: meeting the folks

been there, done that. so let's not harp on my side of "meeting the folks". what i would say is i have kinda successfully earned acceptance from his side of family.

seriously, what's wrong about my parents? even though they're not on good terms, they don't communicate even though they stay together nor would they start an argument anymore, neither of them would really show hostility to my peers. in fact, they care less about who i mixed around unless they don't seem presentable. in fact, that has never happen before.

so what's the big hoo-haa about meeting them? why even cower at the thought? not as if he hasn't done so before with his previous partner, how big a difference would it make?

okay, perhaps i do admit that my family and her family scenario would be quite different. she's an only child whereas i have 3 older siblings with me. he's same age as me and would seem pretty much "junior" compared himself having to be the oldest in his family. but doesn't everyone has their "first time" in everything, anything??

i have chosen better situations for him, where only my mum or dad would be around, and yet he could reject my offer thoroughly. even when there isn't anyone at home, he still wouldn't risk it having any of my family members catching him at my place. not as if any of them would catch us hanky-pankying, it's just a pure and innocent invitation over to my place and wait for me to get ready before heading out together. it definitely beats having him to wait at my void deck for me to get ready, and ending up having him to whine that i took too long. i didn't know men could be so "women" sometimes.

i'm so pissed off and so goddamn disappointed in him. my previous boyfriend faced the same situation and now him. i'm wondering is it coz' that they are the oldest in the family, they are not used to face older whoever? oh c'mon! it's a matter of time isn't it?!

cowards!!