For the Bride-to-be

knowing that you're getting married, i'm having a mixed feelings of anxiousness and happiness. perhaps i've been skeptical after what i've put myself through, and i didn't want any of my love ones to go through what i did. even though, that decision was one of the bravest thing ever in my life and also deemed as irresponsible to many, i've never regretted my decision.

i won't question you or anything; just want to make sure this is what you want. i was told that no one is ever ready to get married, but i begged to differ. coz' i don't believe in "following the motion" anymore. i don't think i've reached conviction now, that after a certain period of dating, it's only "right" or "time" to get married. it's either you truly believe this is what you want, or give yourself some time to think it through. of coz', i'm saying this coz' my priorities have shifted and things i believed i'm looking for are alot more different than i used to see.

remember, once you've decided, just look ahead and stay focused like you've always been. don't bother whoever tells you what and do what you should do.

whatever it is, don't stop believing in yourself in things you want to do and achieve. you have my sincerest blessings and very much want to know you've found happiness.

of coz', take my words with a pinch of salt. :)



i love you, and i always will.... :)

procrastinate

i had this huge urge to shop. even online shopping doesn't curb those urges anymore. i brought along Mei, my partner-in-crime, to go shopping with me yesterday. And it never felt better!

i had my objective to shop okay?? i need to get a new pair of working pants, before the current ones start to tear apart. considering that i'm wearing them every single week, anytime it would give way and i'll short of one bottom to wear. and i don't have a habit to wear the same pants/skirt twice. so quit the idea of getting me to wear unwashed clothes.

i ended up buying 2 singlets from Zara, 2 tops from Forever 21, but no bottoms. i think i'll go down town one day to get the white pants from Zara. guess that's the best i've seen around.

and of coz', i finally quit procrastinating and bought a bag from Agnes B.! that cost me some 300 bucks. i still bought it despite it being the last piece. Heng! anyway, the handle on my Charles & Keith bag is like going to snap anytime. just that i didn't have the heart to put my money down to buy a bag that cost so much. so you see? i buy things for a reason hor~!

and i guess it's common for me to procrastinate alot, in life too.... oh well.

you left me speechless.

returning Eeyore was fine, but you plucked out the chipmunks and returned it to me. it was simply put it as, "i have no use for it...". wonderful.

for your information, that pair of chipmunks was a GIFT. you returned MY GIFT to me.

yet, you kept Ashley's.

next, i'll make sure that's the last i'll ever hear from you.

Goodbye.

it has been a long while...

i've been happy. not too happy with the serious hangover the next day, but i'm actually glad.

finally, i've waited the week to end. i already had my thoughts set to drop by my neighborhood's DVD shop and rent some good movies to chill over the weekends. imagine, nuahing at home, spending quality time with myself. on top of that, i've a good book which i'm taking my time to finish it.

however, my 2 good gfs came up with better idea to spend a Friday night. i'm so glad they've called just in time before i had to rush to catch the company bus home. they've suggested a last minute chill out session.

a bottle of wine, some food and we sat there and chatted. i didn't know what gotten into Hua that she suddenly blurted, "shall we go clubbing tonight?" and the next thing we know, we all went home to change into our "proper gears" and met at Boilers. hahaha.... that so brought us back to good old times when we're barely 20, 3 of us would scoot off to Devil's Bar, right after our gym, after work. lugging our gym gears, dashing to the entrance of the bar when it was about 9pm to get our free entrance.

Hua left early this time, coz' Justin got drunk. so happened he was at Powerhouse, that was just next door. so Mei and i were shaking our booties, and i wanted to shake off any doldrums in me. i had too much, without knowing. it had been some time since i drank, and i couldn't really track my limits.

i was so glad i managed to make it home. the driver was speeding, or i thought he was. my head was spinning so badly, i wanted to puke. i didnt know how long it took but i managed to grab the change from the driver, and quickly got out of the cab. i hid somewhere behind the pillar and puked my guts out. at that point in time, i regretted so much that i gotten myself into such state.

best part was, when i got home, i realized my period just came. barely sober to clean myself and made sure i was protected, i fell asleep almost immediately when i changed into my sleeping clothes.

i didn't know why i woke up around 10am in the morning, my head was spinning. i went to puke again. and for the rest of the day, that awful feeling stayed on. i even had difficulty trying to bath. after that bath, i felt abit better. finally, i took some paracetamol and went to catch some sleep at late afternoon. maybe it's the Chivas.... it seemed alright with Vodka though... :P

i'm glad i was feeling alright this morning. woke up as early as 10am again. this time, i was alot fresher. decided not to sleep in, i woke up and headed to Mac to get some hearty breakfast of Sausage McGriddles with Egg, hashbrown and a cold Milo. shiok! never felt better...

and just when i was reading my book, my mum called. thinking that she needed some favor from me again, instead, i ended up chatting with her for more than 2 hours. the usual family gossips and the updates of our dogs, got us laughing and cheery.

guess what? i never talked to my mum liddat before. and it gave me this warm fuzzy feeling. i somehow recalled the same scenario where my mum used to chat with my granny on the phone.

i never knew my mum and i could chat. or perhaps i've reached a certain stage in life where my rebellious streak was something so in the past and now what matters most was my mum well taken care of. i hated it when i know my brothers treated her so shabbily, considering they're her favorites. of coz', once in a while she'll poke her nose into my life, but i'll shunned her off the way i always do. i guessed she got the hint to back off coz' i knew how to handle things myself. i believed, having me as a daughter is really not easy, considering i'm so hardheaded and fiercely independent.

like i've said, i'm happy. really happy. even though life can be such a bore when there's no one by my side, but for once, i think everything's going fine for me. this is what i want, for a long time after what had happened 6 months ago. soon enough, i'll be heading for the gym again. :D

and this is really what i call, being happily single.