clubbing is one of my fave, naturally. ever since i was exposed to clubbing for the very 1st time when i was 18, my virgin step to Zouk's Mambo, i fell for clubbing. since then, i thought clubbing is quite a good channel for me to rid my mind off reality, even if it's only for that night. i'll dance, drink, and sometimes also smoke (yes, i did that).

till now, i still love clubbing. even though some of my clicks eventually grew out of that, i never once wanted to leave the clubbing society. now and then, i'll try to tap around, trying to see if i've new khakis.

right now, Ladies' Night at MoMo is my fave club. good r&b music just rattles deep into me. without boyfriends around, it's definitely party time. if you do well, you get appreciated from glances of cute guys. ;P that is what LADIES' NIGHT all about, isn't it?

perhaps, last night was one of the worst night ever! it's even worst than having to go clubbing with a broken heart.

think about it: just when i'm enjoying myself to the max with DJs spinning awfully good tracks, almost jammed pack dance floor, coincidentally met up some of my old friends, thinking nothing else was better than now... YM just had to be "accidentally" spotted....

to put it simply, he was spying me from afar.

yes, seeing is believing. but when what you see isn't what they really are, what's the purpose then?

i exchanged numbers with some guys, yes. do you know who they happened to be? BDS people: Boon Keng (classmate) and WeiMing (BDS NCC, 1 year my senior).

i met some more guys! and who are they? Yihan and Ka Yong - YM's commando friends.

just because some fucker friends of yours told you what they saw the previous time i went MoMo, you wanted to see what you hope to see - whether i'm naughty or nice. probably, just tell your bunch of friends to mind their blardy business.

if they know me, why don't they even say Hi to me? where's their basic courtesy? why do they observe me from afar like you did? WHO are they to even observe me? WHO are they to even tell you things which is not entirely true, and they're not even there for you when you need emotional help? if they're really concern about my well-being, and AS A FRIEND, shouldn't they protect me, rather than just leaving me alone with another girlfriend of mine, fending for ourselves? and then tell you what they see.... bastards. if they're such good material on spying, go be a bloody PI lah! ask them to take their cam with them, TAKE PICTURES OF ME TRYING TO BE FUNNY!!

"hey, as a friend ah, i tell you this: i saw your girlfriend dancing and flirting with another guy. and they even kissed..."

kiss my small tight ass! friend??? who are they to even call themselves friends? i doubt they even keep in contact with you after you male-beings converted to civilians.

some things i don't wish to share, MEANS i just don't wish to share. why even try to force it out from me? some things i'll NEVER be ready to share. so, don't even think about digging any info, ANY. if you happened to know some things, find the right TIME to talk to me, and definitely NOT when YOU KNOW i'm enjoying myself!

lastly, get your friends to FUCK OFF. they are in NO POSITION to even tell you things which they see when they're not true.

if they so much want to tell you what kind of person i am when i'm clubbing, i'll promise i'll show myself them! i'll let them know, and also YOU to know, WHAT KIND OF PERSON I AM WHEN I CLUBBED. there'll be TOTALLY NO RESTRAIN or whatsoever...

and you asked for it.

also, it helps them to prove how "friend" they really are.

and then, probably you can say, "wah, thanks bro... i finally know what kind of girl my gf is... you're such a great friend..."

PUI!

so tired

yeah man, my 1st x'mas having myself slogging guts out, work till past midnight, have to take cab back without any claims allowed. fuck up. PLUS payday will be delayed by 1 day. and i can't take it even if it's just ONE freaking day later. coz' i'm so blardy dried up lor!!

and check out my schedule:

Monday - Morning
Tuesday - Morning
Wednesday - FULL!!
Thurday - RD
Fri - Afternoon
Saturday - RD
Sunday - FULL!!

if you look this way, it seems like my roster not too bad, get to rest 2 days this week. but think abit deeper, my previous (and only) rest day was on Friday. so technically speaking, i worked for 5 days before expecting my this upcoming rest day. you think it's quite reasonable. but pls, i worked Morning (On Sat), Full (on Sun, x'mas eve), and Morning (on Mon). reported to work damn early, knock off way late. just counting the number of OTs accumulated for the past week, i easily clocked more than 10 hours.

and a stupid full shift on a x'mas day... i.e. Sunday.

sorry, i know i'm whiny. and i'll sleep real soon. promise you that.

anyway, YM had been quite sweet for that unfateful 3 days, meeting me after work. on the eve, we went to beach cabana for dinner. and on x'mas day, he brought me back to east coast beach, had some simple dinner at the mega foodcourt, and then we played with some fire sparklers! hur.... the beach was like quite crowded and all, so we managed to find some quieter places at the carpark and lighted the sparklers. hee! after that, carpark was like attacked by the smoke and all. lol...

so i'm working Full shift tomorrow. i doubt a 10 hours sleep could help relieve the exhuastion i have. lol. btw, i'm going MoMo tomorrow. my pay's not coming in yet and it's really mind boggling. argh.

family woes

i guess there's nothing new to you people. just that this time, i'm quite disappointed with my dad, especially.

at my grandfather's 49th day death anniversary, all of us who could make it for that day would proceed to the temple for a ritual. but this ritual would be slightly different than other rituals because this involves getting my other ancestors. it includes my grandmother, my great-grandparents, and 2 granduncle (who's my grandfather's brothers, died in China) and my 2nd uncle. quite a crowd huh?

so i got close with one of my auntie-in-law, who probably the only person in that entire family clan be concern about my mother who's MIA from their family gathering since god-knows-when. then we started chatting and all, and got to realize how political this clan is when all the politics actually concerned over money matters. and i'm not talking about personal savings, it's my grandparent's money. till now, they're still hardup over their assets, refusing to carry out what the old people had assigned them to do after they died. sigh, and i don't want to go further into that.

then comes my dad.

do you know he actually struck a $20k 4D lottery?

best thing is, his immediate family, i.e US, know nuts about this matter. and my auntie-in-law (aka auntie Irene) was shocked that he didn't share this good news with us. so, if he didnt tell us, there wouldn't be a reason for him to part some of his winnings right?

auntie Irene was quite disgusted about the fact that my dad won some money and did not even give his children any "bonus" cash. and she was really upset about the fact that i told her when he won 4D, he never once told us. it was somehow my mum found out, and since he didn't want to share coz' he don't wish to part with his winnings, we just act dumb.

and you know something? i actually asked him for help to pay my school fees, he actually claimed he has no money already. however, i don't know whether my request came before he struck the lottery or after....

the more i think about this, the more disgusted and upsetting i get. one of these days when i'm not working on weekends, i would go to my ancestors tablet and ask them for the reason they gave my dad that windfall, and he ended up keeping up all the money to himself and none other.

just a quick update.... and i've to go work.

here's my schedule for the week, as promised for someone:

Mon - Morning
Tues - Afternoon
Wed - 2pm to 6pm
Thurs - Afternoon
Fri - RD
Sat - Afternoon
Sun - Morning


if you're thinking of asking me out on Fri, i only have the afternoons available. i.e before 7pm. the evenings are booked, including the late nights. *lol*

on Wed after 6pm, i may have an appointment pending for confirmation. but if you can confirm your appointment with me ASAP for Wed, well, it's a 1st come 1st serve basis.

~~

i think everyone seems to be quite busy with their lives (which is good!) that they don't really want to update their blogs anymore... so i guess this blog thinggie became a passe already? or the PLC (product life cycle) of this fad becames saturated at this stage. *lol*

what the hell am i talking about....


~~

my cousin's husband-to-be refuses to acknowledge the shotgun marriage, claiming that he has no money to wed and whatsoever (based on my mum).

i pity the unborn child with such a bastard father. what could be worse for both the mother and child?

~~

both of my Manager and 2nd-in-charge spoken with me, telling me which areas they hope they would see improvement from, coz' they're hoping they could promote me to Senior II (now i'm senior III).

it's just nice to know they're in a lookout for my progress in this job... even though i'm not as keen to usurp higher authority, but i need the more cash.




so that's about it for now. TA!

unpredictable but avoidable situations

one of my dearest cousins is getting married. she's only slightly younger than me. technically speaking she's only younger than me by a couple of months - but she's 21, i'm 22.

this is supposed to be a joyous occasion! however, this time it's going to be a quiet internal affair. and it's all because this marriage was uncalled for. to put it simply, it's a shotgun marriage.

it came upon as a shock, more than a pleasant surprise. somehow, it didn't occur to me this would happened to our family, and especially to her. now that reality slowly sets in, all i felt was bitter.

i wasn't her source of confidante. and i believe there was apparently NO ONE she could put her finger to. therefore, her secret was concealed till it couldn't be concealed anymore. she is 4 months pregnant now, or that's what i've heard. just 5 more months.... i just couldn't imagine it.

you know, wedding to me is something sacred, once-in-a-lifetime thinggie and therefore it should be somewhere grand, where everyone i love would come and give their blessings. and i could imagine how disappointing it is to have her once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be treated so shabbily. not only that, with uncalled situations like this, who would have the mood to celebrate? also, despite we're in the millenium, the Y-generation kids, we still stay with the traditional adults with conservative mindset, how do we expect them to accept such harsh truth? worse still, these adults would only grab this opportunity to gossip and point fingers!

sigh... even if we youngsters could just go "oh ok...well, congrats", these adults would make sure their humiliation is HEARD. god, you should hear my mum, man.... she just wouldn't stop her toxicated mouth. sometimes, i get worried for her...

there's just so many questions in mind. my heart would ache when i could almost feel how traumatized she was when she found out what went wrong in her, and worse still, no one was there for her. and how come her blardy bastard husband-to-be DID NOT do ANYTHING sooner than now!

that arsehole may be 25, but seriously, i doubt he even has the capability to support a family. no, i don't have a very good impression of him despite i saw him a couple of times. well, being "looked" at from him is not exactly a very good feeling (or very right), especially when he is holding hands with my cousin. you know, that kind of gaze....

i feel that this marriage is like a no-choice thinggie. i know, shotgun was never once exactly a choice. but i felt that she couldn't hide her belly further and she doesn't have the courage to abort and therefore she just had to get married.

she's still in the midst of completing her degree, fyi. and if i'm not wrong, she's completing soon, real soon. it's like 1 or 2 more sems to go. gosh, what else could be worse?

contents of the pretty box reveiled!

alright, so YM was smart after all. he took some pics of the contents in that pretty box i gave him. they're not exactly very clear but well, you still get to see what is it.

ta-da!!

in more details....

the boxers from TOPMAN (and i personally thought the middle one is quite cute!)

a rope-like bracelet and a white-shell necklace...

that TOPMAN long sleeves tee... (and the last piece!)

a $10 worth of X'mas TOPMAN gift card.... which came together with my other purchases, expiring on x'mas

and a GIORDANO crew neck top which comes in pack of 3 but i gave him one first...

and the card!

the pop-up thinggie on the envelope are chocolates which i found from The Cocoa Tree. cute thinggies huh??

he didn't take a pic of himself in this get-up i've arranged for him. but i've seen him putting them altogether and he looks good, at least to me!

don't belittle what i've got him lor! it took quite a big part off my pocket eh! all in all, it's not cheap lar. worth it or not, depends on him whether he likes the makeover and will UTILIZE what i've gotten him into his style as well.

not in a very good condition...

i thought downing some simple cough syrup before heading for bed last night would help. but i guess when it's flu-blown virus, means it's a full-blown virus. that's where a doctor is needed.

so this morning, the only thing that went away was the painful sore throat. other than that, my sexy voice still stayed and a blocked nose added to the virus' collection. *groan*. i couldn't sleep the whole blardy night coz' my nose was so heavily blocked and constantly dripping with mucus. and also, i'm just not used breathing through my mouth. i woke up like every 2 hours kind of thing, just trying to clear my nose. and i went to work, feel quite giddy on the insufficient rest.

but still, i managed to work my way through the morning, however feeling a lil' grouchy.

i'm supposed to meet YM and his family for dinner but i had to give it a miss. with my sexy voice, flu, plus a heavy head, i think i'm not in the right state to go. felt quite bad though....

anyway, i went to my company's doc. you should see the amount of medicine been prescribed. i got quite a huge bot of non-drowsy cough mixture, 2 types of flu medicine - drowsy for the night, non-drowsy for day, huge antibiotics, lozenges, and medicine for hoarse voice.... all for just $5!! ooh... i just love my company suddenly. imagine how much would that cost me if i'm to pop by Raffles Medical....

ok, i think i'm getting drowsy. man, that small flu pill is damn powerful lor.... okie, hopefully, i'll still be able to wake up for tomorrow's shift...

i love my boy... love you too... =)

don't talk to me!!

how haughty huh?

well, simply coz' i can't talk.... properly. no voice!

i guess i suffered from a full blown flu attack. no, i'm not having any flu or whatsoever, but it's just from flu virus spreading around in the shop. in centerpoint, we jokingly said it's the "in-charge virus". so happened that all the in-charges got it, except the other staffs. -.-" yeah, we're bored when they came up with that.

but i still have nimble fingers to get by. i can still chat online, fastest-fingers' text messaging and all, EXCEPT talk. darn.

i didn't go class today. i'm coughing so badly the whole day that i was desperate enough to buy some cough remedy from guardian. didn't help much coz' i was still working, and i still have to interact with customers and all. so it's as good as i didn't rest my throat... hmph.

with all the energy spent on coughing, i need to recuperate soon. getting giddy and weak already. if i'm going to carrying on coughing this badly, i'll develop asthma soon. and i can start to feel myself wheezing... bleah!

okie ppl, i'll be a good girl and rest early today ya?

miss all of you people out there.... you know you're so dear to me? *muacks!*

YM's present...

i guess this is one of the nicest present i've prepared in the shortest period of time. it was all in a hurry to get the things inside, and at the meantime, my brain was clicking for last minute ideas.

quite surprised that he wasn't home when i got there. so i left it at his doorstep....

..... hopefully no one else takes it!

what is inside the box? well, i'll leave it up to him to discover himself. they're all the essentials for a slight makeover i've prepared for him. and also, we just have to wait and see whether he's sensible enough to take pictures and all.... *lol*

for a moment, i'm thankful to be working, to get some matters off my mind...

but when work's over, i can't stop thinking.... and i was hoping i could find someone to distract me at the moment, but somehow, just none.

i feel sucky coz' i couldn't relate what's bothering me to anyone, not for now. i think i'm just hoping it would go away or something... but till then, i'm also hoping i could do something to end this misery...


what's worse? i think i'm falling sick. having a bad throat, lack of appetite, a slight blocked nose, an aching growing wisdom tooth, and also few attemptions to puke. believe that flu bug caught me...

issit because these the aftermath symptoms of ****? i didn't have the urge to **** and therefore i'm not intending to continue ****, which is only reserved for some occasions. i sincerely hope that's not the case.

i need some company, accompanied by some booze... but there's no booze, no company.



p/s the number of **** has nothing got to do with the word that i won't tell. so don't bother guessing... LOL.

lost

suddenly, i don't know what i want.

i have freedom, i have the kind of love i'm looking for... so what i'm missing? why do i still feel empty?

i can't find myself....