as a staff of a skincare company, i do get the perks - 30% off products, 40% off treatments. really, it's quite attractive, especially when the stuffs are really expensive. ever since Joyce Lim, i don't recall splurging that much on skincare. when i thought Joyce Lim was already a killer for my pocket, i took my virgin step out of the doctor's regime and tried on my own company's products. honestly, if i don't witness how good the products would be, i couldn't convince the thousands of potential customers out there.
so yup, i took my 1st step. i decided to drop Joyce Lim is because her products no longer works for me. yes, my face was alot better than it was 3 to 4 years ago. however, i couldn't continue using her products as my skin is slowly aging and she's not tweaking my regime. furthermore, my eczema tends to break out during hormonal changes and she's not intending to do anything about it. to her, it's a skin condition that "couldn't be cured". oh well...
i finally had my consultation and bought more than $600 worth of products. thank God for the 30% which the bill came down to $400+. Mei was with me, and she too, easily convinced to tweak her regime advised by the consultants. at least for her skin, she doesn't have much of a problem. i have some serious case of 'congestion', and i need more than the usual basic home care products to help. sigh.... yup, all for the sake of healthier looking skin. i guess i really had enough seeing other people's flawless skins and mine's like so problematic. yup, i'm somewhat anticipating the results in a few month's time!
as for work, the pace slowed down a great deal. that's coz' all PR and copywriting materials are done and the work is chucked at my designer's. now i'm only waiting for proof-reading, and also going through the intricate details of all the artwork produced. basically i'm going to work now just to handle some production stuff - cutting papers. hahahaha... as bizarre as that sounds, it's true! like they told me, enjoy it while i can, till the next tidal wave of work comes again.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
2 weeks...
it has been 2 weeks since I've started work. honestly, as exciting as it is everyday, it is also a whole lot of getting used to. after resting for 2.5 mths, i have some difficulty tuning in to work again. and also, after my 2nd day of work, i had to work OT already, almost every day. even i have to find time to do some work at home over the weekends too. it's somewhat fun, perhaps something i don't mind, but it's also relatively physically and mentally draining. even my Boss could feel that i'm 'punctured' already. well, i guess he cant expect me to run a 10km marathon without running for more than 2 months right?
anyway, he has high hopes for me since the 1st day i've started work. and i'm determined to keep up to his expectations. i get insecure at most times coz' i do feel as if i'm not working up to my own expectations, hence his expectations. i don't know if my expectations are the same as his, or possibly higher. so i constantly feel that i could do better, even though he would never fail to give me some encouragements or a pat on the back that i'm doing good.
i guess most importantly, i really enjoyed my work. alot of freehand, till i'm actually insecure if i had it all right. and i'm really blessed that my boss gives me the freedom. even though his directions may not be very clear, and i do get confused too, but ultimately i enjoyed the entire experience. it's really God-sent, and i've been grateful everyday. :)
and only 2 weeks of work, getting in depth with this whole beauty business, i've actually began to scrutinize other ppl's skin! it's like so OMG! i guess this happens when i'm constantly exposed to co-workers' great skins, and i'm depressed about mine. even the big lady boss's skin, who's in her 50s, also better than mine. in fact, almost flawless! it does motivate me about the products. and i'm really tempted to take a shot with their products and treatments. like my boss said, i need to be a convert myself before i could be their Brand Angel/Spokesperson. with a staff discount of 30%, really, it's attractive.
anyway, my cleanser is about done. rather than going back to the hospital to get my supplies, i might as well start using theirs. it's gonna be more expensive, but the discount makes the price on par. so why not? and i'm actually excited, thinking about it! LOL!
anyway, he has high hopes for me since the 1st day i've started work. and i'm determined to keep up to his expectations. i get insecure at most times coz' i do feel as if i'm not working up to my own expectations, hence his expectations. i don't know if my expectations are the same as his, or possibly higher. so i constantly feel that i could do better, even though he would never fail to give me some encouragements or a pat on the back that i'm doing good.
i guess most importantly, i really enjoyed my work. alot of freehand, till i'm actually insecure if i had it all right. and i'm really blessed that my boss gives me the freedom. even though his directions may not be very clear, and i do get confused too, but ultimately i enjoyed the entire experience. it's really God-sent, and i've been grateful everyday. :)
and only 2 weeks of work, getting in depth with this whole beauty business, i've actually began to scrutinize other ppl's skin! it's like so OMG! i guess this happens when i'm constantly exposed to co-workers' great skins, and i'm depressed about mine. even the big lady boss's skin, who's in her 50s, also better than mine. in fact, almost flawless! it does motivate me about the products. and i'm really tempted to take a shot with their products and treatments. like my boss said, i need to be a convert myself before i could be their Brand Angel/Spokesperson. with a staff discount of 30%, really, it's attractive.
anyway, my cleanser is about done. rather than going back to the hospital to get my supplies, i might as well start using theirs. it's gonna be more expensive, but the discount makes the price on par. so why not? and i'm actually excited, thinking about it! LOL!
Monday, October 10, 2011
I'm Hired!
wow! the wait is over! no more endless anticipation of whether i'll get a job or not! it's such an immensed relieve, and at the same time, so really excited to move on. even though it's a job not really what I wanted, but i do want to believe this job would open new doors for me.
after i accepted this job, i had two other calls from agencies, to get me to go for interview. one was at Coke, another at F&N. honestly, i felt the pang of pity i couldn't go, when i turned it down. as much as my options are still opened, i didnt feel it was right to take leave to attend the interviews. it'll be unpaid, and if i happened to be offered, i don't think i could just tender like that. it's unethical to me, and i don't feel good doing things like that. so Mei felt it was all fated. i guess it's worth to give this boss a shot, since we can hit off quite well.
so yar, i'm starting work tomorrow. and i also just got back from a weekend trip to Batam with Bel, Ra, and Mun. Glad that i start work only on Tues, so today i had a good rest.
and you know what? i'm starting work, the same date as i started work with DK last year. uncanny. but i choose to believe that it means i'll start over on the same date, and this will be a happy job for me. so it's fated for me to put things right, the way it should've been when i was in DK. :)
yes, it will be a good start for all good things to come.
as much as i'm scared how this will turn out, but I'm Ready to Go Go Go!!
and i must say, The Secret pulled me through my toughest days. Thank you the Secret, Thank you my Lord, Thank you the Universe. Amen.
after i accepted this job, i had two other calls from agencies, to get me to go for interview. one was at Coke, another at F&N. honestly, i felt the pang of pity i couldn't go, when i turned it down. as much as my options are still opened, i didnt feel it was right to take leave to attend the interviews. it'll be unpaid, and if i happened to be offered, i don't think i could just tender like that. it's unethical to me, and i don't feel good doing things like that. so Mei felt it was all fated. i guess it's worth to give this boss a shot, since we can hit off quite well.
so yar, i'm starting work tomorrow. and i also just got back from a weekend trip to Batam with Bel, Ra, and Mun. Glad that i start work only on Tues, so today i had a good rest.
and you know what? i'm starting work, the same date as i started work with DK last year. uncanny. but i choose to believe that it means i'll start over on the same date, and this will be a happy job for me. so it's fated for me to put things right, the way it should've been when i was in DK. :)
yes, it will be a good start for all good things to come.
as much as i'm scared how this will turn out, but I'm Ready to Go Go Go!!
and i must say, The Secret pulled me through my toughest days. Thank you the Secret, Thank you my Lord, Thank you the Universe. Amen.
Friday, September 30, 2011
the Secret... will it work?
after a hiatus of almost 2 months, and out of job, i needed a channel to vent. well, not really venting as well, coz' i don't really know what's for me to write. i have been depressed, with no boyfriends, no job, no other distractions. it's quite sad for me actually. at least if i'm working, it's good enough to keep me distracted. but nope, don't have anything. then again, i'm really grateful for friends to keep me entertained regularly, once a week at least. it's great for some booze, and hanging out, enjoying each other's company.
my brother recently reminded me of the book he gave me as a present. i shelved it the moment i saw it, and don't ask me why. i guess the book didn't seem very appealing to me. haaa. it was until Jacob shared with me about this movie he caught - the Secret, and then i realize i had this book shelved in my cupboard. and it was uncanny that my brother asked me a couple of days later whether i'd read the book. i was thinking, since i had nothing going on, might as well just read it. after all, i still had some time to finish my library books. i take it as God's plan, to get me to read what it was.
i finished the book in less than 2 days. honestly, i was greatly inspired. and in a certain way, i wanted to know if it really works for me, especially when i really wanted this job at Medtronics. i went for the 1st interview, and i hadn't have any news about the 2nd interview for almost 3 weeks. i was getting really depressed. the job was possibly the best among all other job interviews i've went! to top it up, the location of the office is like back "home", a neighbor of the Brownland, and most importantly, it's a regional job! even though traveling would only limit within the Asean countries, it would still be a great start for me! i REALLY want this job SUPER DUPER UBER BADLY!!
there was NOTHING about this job that i couldn't handle! not saying it's easy peasy, just that it's only about the product knowledge which i had none. so that would be the main challenge of the job. and also to handle events overseas, with different cultures and all that, yup, it'll be challenging. otherwise, it's nothing really new to me. yes, i SOOOOO want this job.
i couldn't stay in suspense any longer, so i called up the HR last week to check on the status. btw, i've sent 2 emails over the 3 weeks to check on the status but there was no reply. the HR told me that the Director (of some sort) is away on a business trip and would only be back next week, and they haven't went through any shortlisting yet. so if i'm shortlisted, they'll give me a call. Blessed the book, Blessed the Father! those were honey to my ears! i was worried sick, and was lucky to know they haven't went through the shortlisting process!
i'm now feeling so so SO nervous, every single day! one day i havent hear from them, every day i'll drown slowly by the build up anticipation! i wished i could get over and done with asap.
partly, i chose to keep my hopes up high, pinning every single day for this job, was also to prove to myself if the "law of attraction" stated in this book really works. i mean, they have a point that rich people only think about being rich, and not being poor. hence, the rich will gets richer. and now, i feel like there's something i could do to hasten the process....
"what things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." Mark 11:24
suddenly, something struck me, right now, at this very moment..... i think i truly believe, but i'm not behaving like i'm receiving it! perhaps, it'll work......
i don't know if it's the psycho-ing that's working, but i seriously believe this job is mine. i can really FEEL it in my bones. and we shall see.
my brother recently reminded me of the book he gave me as a present. i shelved it the moment i saw it, and don't ask me why. i guess the book didn't seem very appealing to me. haaa. it was until Jacob shared with me about this movie he caught - the Secret, and then i realize i had this book shelved in my cupboard. and it was uncanny that my brother asked me a couple of days later whether i'd read the book. i was thinking, since i had nothing going on, might as well just read it. after all, i still had some time to finish my library books. i take it as God's plan, to get me to read what it was.
i finished the book in less than 2 days. honestly, i was greatly inspired. and in a certain way, i wanted to know if it really works for me, especially when i really wanted this job at Medtronics. i went for the 1st interview, and i hadn't have any news about the 2nd interview for almost 3 weeks. i was getting really depressed. the job was possibly the best among all other job interviews i've went! to top it up, the location of the office is like back "home", a neighbor of the Brownland, and most importantly, it's a regional job! even though traveling would only limit within the Asean countries, it would still be a great start for me! i REALLY want this job SUPER DUPER UBER BADLY!!
there was NOTHING about this job that i couldn't handle! not saying it's easy peasy, just that it's only about the product knowledge which i had none. so that would be the main challenge of the job. and also to handle events overseas, with different cultures and all that, yup, it'll be challenging. otherwise, it's nothing really new to me. yes, i SOOOOO want this job.
i couldn't stay in suspense any longer, so i called up the HR last week to check on the status. btw, i've sent 2 emails over the 3 weeks to check on the status but there was no reply. the HR told me that the Director (of some sort) is away on a business trip and would only be back next week, and they haven't went through any shortlisting yet. so if i'm shortlisted, they'll give me a call. Blessed the book, Blessed the Father! those were honey to my ears! i was worried sick, and was lucky to know they haven't went through the shortlisting process!
i'm now feeling so so SO nervous, every single day! one day i havent hear from them, every day i'll drown slowly by the build up anticipation! i wished i could get over and done with asap.
partly, i chose to keep my hopes up high, pinning every single day for this job, was also to prove to myself if the "law of attraction" stated in this book really works. i mean, they have a point that rich people only think about being rich, and not being poor. hence, the rich will gets richer. and now, i feel like there's something i could do to hasten the process....
"what things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." Mark 11:24
suddenly, something struck me, right now, at this very moment..... i think i truly believe, but i'm not behaving like i'm receiving it! perhaps, it'll work......
i don't know if it's the psycho-ing that's working, but i seriously believe this job is mine. i can really FEEL it in my bones. and we shall see.
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
It was good riddance
on the fateful 15th July, I was called into my boss's room and she decided to do a review with me. i knew i had somewhat screwed up on a business review and little would i expect my head was actually on the chopping board. so she said she was disappointed in me for my performance and she didn't know if i was interested in the job. till today, i don't know why would she constantly have a perception that i wasn't interested. if i'm not interested, would i have taken up this job despite knowing the company is shifting to Penjuru!?! Duh. well anyways, she said i didnt meet up to her expectations and hence she felt that FMCG industry was not my cup of tea. seriously, who was she to judge whether i was suitable or not. having said that, she paused awkwardly and i had to ask her, "are you suggesting that i leave". she had the cheek to act coy and replied that she was not expecting me to leave within 24 hours but i could either serve a 2 week's notice since i was not confirmed, or a month's notice. i felt slapped in the face.
i held back my tears after i left the office. i was fuming inside. i was glad my colleague was with me and told her everything. her eyes widen in shock, and she looked away, commenting that it was unbelieveable, totally disgusted by the boss. she felt it was unfair that the boss changed my portfolio and then took this excuse to lengthen my probation, and now this. and she did bring up many ways that the boss could've done and needed not to resort to such ways. furthermore, it would sure take more than just 10 months to groom one person. and guess what? i only took on this new portfolio for 3 months.
there was sure many unjustified feelings. i felt lost, as i didn't know what to do next. i volunteered to serve 1 month's notice partly due to my insecurities. i wouldn't know whether i would be able to get a job. and since i could prolonged my stay a little more, it would also mean more money.
after the weekend, i came to terms about it, after lots of praying. and yes, it was His doing. He knew i wasn't happy with work (coz' i spoke to Him before) and this happened. so that weekend, i immediately sent out my resumes. and guess what? i had 4 calls that week to invite me down for interviews! Alleluia! so yup, i felt the immense happiness from within. come to think about it, it was all in good timing. this period was a good time to look for jobs and my skills are possibly in demand right now. the feeling was liberating!
so on goodwill (and some said i shouldn't have, considering how i was being treated), i stayed till yesterday, a good 2 weeks and cleared out my outstanding leaves till the 17th. and i helped to get the monthly reports done for her as well. ain't i nice to that horrible boss?? whether nice or not, i thought i should just fulfill my responsibilities, even if she didn't appreciate it.
and for a parting gift, she made me missed out an interview yesterday. whatever i needed to hand over, the main part of it was already done last week. in fact, i hadn't followed up on anything ever since i was serving notice. so there wasn't much to be handed over actually. yet, at 4:30pm yesterday, she made me sat through with her every single detail of the working process. it's either she really didn't know what to do despite micro-managing me for 10 mths, or she easily lost touch with what went on, which may not be very possible coz' she was micro-managing me all these while! oh well, so yeah, the interviewer called in the midst of the handover and asked if i was on my way. i had no choice but to tell her to postpone the interview, however, she apologetically told me they would reschedule if there's still vacancy. bravo, isn't it? no thanks to that boss. luckily it was an interview that i wasn't too keen but wouldn't mind trying out. otherwise, i would have been in a fit.
so today would be my 1st day lazing at home. as much as i was looking forward to a break, i am also worried how long this break would last. and i'm grateful that my brother has been supportive. i told him briefly what happened and i may require financial help till i secure another job, and he was ready to help me out. he's cool.
i'll be praying for a new job that i would grow, and love, and would have a good team and boss. that's almost the perfect job isn't it? i know it's tough for all criterias to be met, but i feel tht i need a job with a good team and boss. the job may be sucky, but it's the team and boss that would keep me around. and i'm leaving to His hands to guide me through this. and yes, i'll still be sending my resumes.
till then, i'll hang around the house, try to motivate myself to catch up with my housework (i have not been upkeeping my room...), take this opportunity to spend more time with my mum and meet her for dinner, catch up with my movies online, go to the library.... actually, i think i have quite alot of things planned. :D
i held back my tears after i left the office. i was fuming inside. i was glad my colleague was with me and told her everything. her eyes widen in shock, and she looked away, commenting that it was unbelieveable, totally disgusted by the boss. she felt it was unfair that the boss changed my portfolio and then took this excuse to lengthen my probation, and now this. and she did bring up many ways that the boss could've done and needed not to resort to such ways. furthermore, it would sure take more than just 10 months to groom one person. and guess what? i only took on this new portfolio for 3 months.
there was sure many unjustified feelings. i felt lost, as i didn't know what to do next. i volunteered to serve 1 month's notice partly due to my insecurities. i wouldn't know whether i would be able to get a job. and since i could prolonged my stay a little more, it would also mean more money.
after the weekend, i came to terms about it, after lots of praying. and yes, it was His doing. He knew i wasn't happy with work (coz' i spoke to Him before) and this happened. so that weekend, i immediately sent out my resumes. and guess what? i had 4 calls that week to invite me down for interviews! Alleluia! so yup, i felt the immense happiness from within. come to think about it, it was all in good timing. this period was a good time to look for jobs and my skills are possibly in demand right now. the feeling was liberating!
so on goodwill (and some said i shouldn't have, considering how i was being treated), i stayed till yesterday, a good 2 weeks and cleared out my outstanding leaves till the 17th. and i helped to get the monthly reports done for her as well. ain't i nice to that horrible boss?? whether nice or not, i thought i should just fulfill my responsibilities, even if she didn't appreciate it.
and for a parting gift, she made me missed out an interview yesterday. whatever i needed to hand over, the main part of it was already done last week. in fact, i hadn't followed up on anything ever since i was serving notice. so there wasn't much to be handed over actually. yet, at 4:30pm yesterday, she made me sat through with her every single detail of the working process. it's either she really didn't know what to do despite micro-managing me for 10 mths, or she easily lost touch with what went on, which may not be very possible coz' she was micro-managing me all these while! oh well, so yeah, the interviewer called in the midst of the handover and asked if i was on my way. i had no choice but to tell her to postpone the interview, however, she apologetically told me they would reschedule if there's still vacancy. bravo, isn't it? no thanks to that boss. luckily it was an interview that i wasn't too keen but wouldn't mind trying out. otherwise, i would have been in a fit.
so today would be my 1st day lazing at home. as much as i was looking forward to a break, i am also worried how long this break would last. and i'm grateful that my brother has been supportive. i told him briefly what happened and i may require financial help till i secure another job, and he was ready to help me out. he's cool.
i'll be praying for a new job that i would grow, and love, and would have a good team and boss. that's almost the perfect job isn't it? i know it's tough for all criterias to be met, but i feel tht i need a job with a good team and boss. the job may be sucky, but it's the team and boss that would keep me around. and i'm leaving to His hands to guide me through this. and yes, i'll still be sending my resumes.
till then, i'll hang around the house, try to motivate myself to catch up with my housework (i have not been upkeeping my room...), take this opportunity to spend more time with my mum and meet her for dinner, catch up with my movies online, go to the library.... actually, i think i have quite alot of things planned. :D
Sunday, July 10, 2011
the Reality starts tomorrow, officially
when my mum asked me, "how come your job search gets further and further??", i didn't really know what to say other than convincing her that i needed the experience. from tomorrow onwards, i'll be taking the company bus and heading to the new office location: Penjuru Rd. it was possibly my greatest nightmare came true.
you might think that at least there's a company bus to ease the agony. but seriously, nothing beats the convenience after work. who wouldn't want to be located in the central of Singapore? travelling is tiring, and it kills any motivation of having after-work activities. it would possibly takes more than 45 mins to get to town, taking into consideration the jam on AYE and all that crap.
and today, everyone had to go to the new office to test the network, ensuring that Mon would be a smooth working day. ppl i shared this with told me the same thing, "can't you do that on Mon!?!" yes i also know that, however, this company believed that Mon is a working day and hence nothing should be disrupted. oh boy. so since i'm there, might as well unpacked.
there are other contributing factors that made me not so keen to go to work, even though i truly enjoy my work. now to add on to the list: location. the rants can go on, really. and i won't let the ranting go on for too long, coz' i will do something abt it, real soon.
pray for me.
you might think that at least there's a company bus to ease the agony. but seriously, nothing beats the convenience after work. who wouldn't want to be located in the central of Singapore? travelling is tiring, and it kills any motivation of having after-work activities. it would possibly takes more than 45 mins to get to town, taking into consideration the jam on AYE and all that crap.
and today, everyone had to go to the new office to test the network, ensuring that Mon would be a smooth working day. ppl i shared this with told me the same thing, "can't you do that on Mon!?!" yes i also know that, however, this company believed that Mon is a working day and hence nothing should be disrupted. oh boy. so since i'm there, might as well unpacked.
there are other contributing factors that made me not so keen to go to work, even though i truly enjoy my work. now to add on to the list: location. the rants can go on, really. and i won't let the ranting go on for too long, coz' i will do something abt it, real soon.
pray for me.
Monday, May 16, 2011
I've woken up.
I feel stupid. I feel that I’ve been holding on for nothing. After the conversation on MSN last night, I finally came to terms to just move on. I cried again, and it still hurts a lot. Looked like he had already made up his mind all these while. So yes, it was only me still hoping we could get back together.
It’s time to bury the love I had for him all along. It brought tears to my eyes thinking about that.
Every time he popped into my mind, I prayed for him to come back. He finally did, only to come tell me that it’s no longer possible because “I have made that decision back then and he wouldn’t want to hold me back.” Yes, he wanted me to eat my words, and I took the humble pie. No matter how, he wouldn’t want to try to change the situation because he felt that things wouldn’t change. I guess I had caused him much resentment that he concluded I’m someone who’s completely unreasonable, and hence there were little chances of me changing for the better. So ultimately, he felt that I had to change to adapt him… if I couldn’t, then there is no point being together.
Yes, it seemed very much my fault. Perhaps, he felt he hasn’t done anything wrong. Maybe he didn’t, but it took two to clap. He would possibly never admit that he contributed to the breakup. Whatever it is, it’s really over.
I loved him so much more than I thought I did. Even though we seemed to be perpetually arguing, I came to accept that it was our way of communication. That’s partly because we enjoyed good conversations even though we irked each other with different opinions. And despite us having distinct differences in personalities, I was willing to go all out for him. Now, it’s a thing in the past.
It’s so painful; it’s so hard to cope. Even though I know time will heal wounds, the days were so harsh on me. I will learn to cope, and start afresh, by myself. I just hope he wouldn’t come back looking for me in the near future, as I wanted very much to end all feelings that might still be lingering….
I'll be praying. But this time round, I'll be praying for me to get over him.
It’s time to bury the love I had for him all along. It brought tears to my eyes thinking about that.
Every time he popped into my mind, I prayed for him to come back. He finally did, only to come tell me that it’s no longer possible because “I have made that decision back then and he wouldn’t want to hold me back.” Yes, he wanted me to eat my words, and I took the humble pie. No matter how, he wouldn’t want to try to change the situation because he felt that things wouldn’t change. I guess I had caused him much resentment that he concluded I’m someone who’s completely unreasonable, and hence there were little chances of me changing for the better. So ultimately, he felt that I had to change to adapt him… if I couldn’t, then there is no point being together.
Yes, it seemed very much my fault. Perhaps, he felt he hasn’t done anything wrong. Maybe he didn’t, but it took two to clap. He would possibly never admit that he contributed to the breakup. Whatever it is, it’s really over.
I loved him so much more than I thought I did. Even though we seemed to be perpetually arguing, I came to accept that it was our way of communication. That’s partly because we enjoyed good conversations even though we irked each other with different opinions. And despite us having distinct differences in personalities, I was willing to go all out for him. Now, it’s a thing in the past.
It’s so painful; it’s so hard to cope. Even though I know time will heal wounds, the days were so harsh on me. I will learn to cope, and start afresh, by myself. I just hope he wouldn’t come back looking for me in the near future, as I wanted very much to end all feelings that might still be lingering….
I'll be praying. But this time round, I'll be praying for me to get over him.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
好想你。。
yes, i truly missed him.
it has been one month, almost. it did felt longer than that. things happened when i was at my lowest, i hoped he was there. and when i was thinking of someone to chat with on the line, i thought of him, and i missed having someone to talk to on my way home. i missed having to know someone's waiting for my call, or waiting up for me to tell him i'm home safely. most imptly, i truly missed the companionship. after all, it's always heartening to know someone's there for me.
it has been one month, almost. it did felt longer than that. things happened when i was at my lowest, i hoped he was there. and when i was thinking of someone to chat with on the line, i thought of him, and i missed having someone to talk to on my way home. i missed having to know someone's waiting for my call, or waiting up for me to tell him i'm home safely. most imptly, i truly missed the companionship. after all, it's always heartening to know someone's there for me.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
i smell a little trouble
soon it'll be 6 months to my new job, and that's spell the end of my probation. today, my boss spoke to me. other than work, she spoke to me about my probation. after sharing with me that her sales mgr feedback to her that i didn't really communicate with him, and the sales team didn't feel my "presence felt", i thought i felt stabbed in the back.
yes i agree, i don't seem to be interacting alot purely because I SIMPLY CAN'T FIT IN!! OMG!! it is like bad la! i mean, i don't go around cussing and swearing at every single sentence i speak, nor do i constantly crack yellow jokes! gawd! how can i stoop to that kind of level!? that's like so low class!! and i'm simply not that unrefined! how can i change myself to be that unrefined to that kind of extend just to "bond with the sales team"??!
there's this lady who happened to be one of my predecessor, currently working for another team. she is CRUDE! and i don't like that. as a woman, u don't simply just talk about balls and pussies or nipples just to mingle with guys. yeah, the men there prolly liked it, but puh-lease! that's so degrading! such a pretty lady in her mid-thirties who's married with a 4 year old kid, carrying herself this way?? oh c'mon! she's a funny lady, but i thought trying to be like her is WAY overboard for me. i'm cheeky, but in a civilised way. i don't go around and say things like "tickling her nipples" or "confirm make her shiok down there" or "give him that black hole" etc... gawd! so uncouth! i shudder even typing abt it. i'm not trying to act high-class here. it's only about respecting people and behaving yourself. UPS trained me well. after all, i worked in other local companies before, i have never come across such crude culture like this!
anyway, the sales team have been working together for at least, 6 years and above? i'm only there for 6 months! and they're all Men. how does she expect me to just "blend in"? it definitely takes more than 6 months.. hello!?!?
i guess considering that i come from a "different culture", i am currently deemed to be the outcasted one.
when my PM said the boss is very "pro-Sales team", i took it with a pinch of salt. after all, he ranted and whined alot and put ppl down behind their backs so how to take him seriously, right? but i think i finally see it the way he meant. it became rather obvious the sales mgr is playing dirty, feeding inaccurate information abt me to the boss. otherwise, why would she said i should "make my presence known" or "be louder". i really dislike the way that sales mgr handled this. if he feels a need for me to mingle more with his sales team, he should come to me directly and not tell my boss. yes, it could be my boss just asked him abt me, and he shares with her what he observed and things like that. even so, he should have approached me directly before, or even after he shared with her. he needn't to wait till the boss asked and then he just share "what he knows". and honestly, i doubt my boss even asked him if he has spoken to me about it.
i was complaining this to my ex-boss, ET. she said that it's obvious that i don't sit in with such culture. and considering how the sales mgr tell "things" to my boss, there'll be backstabbing within the team. worse, it's a TEAM of sales against poor little me. so naturally it would demoralizing. so how to stay long? she told me to find some better place. i don't doubt i won't, but there is a need to have the right time. now, i need the experience, and sadly i'm enjoying what i'm doing, perhaps just not the industry. then again, i don't know if other FMCG companies are the same....
my PM resigned and his last day would be end of this month. i didn't expect him to be leaving for real, after all, he kept going on and on and on about he's going to quit but somehow just didn't. so i'll be, erm, fending for myself.
my boss asked me to go think whether i would want to continue with this job or whether this job is suitable for me. i was taken aback. trying to take this positively, she just wants me to make sure this is what i'm expecting and if i can carry on working with them. if i am thinking otherwise, i'm free to go. i thought i felt her bruising my ego.
anyway, as long as i'm in this team, it's beginning to be tougher than i expected. i may have a really nice boss, but a boss who seemed to be listening to her sales team more, then it will be a bigger push factor, other than the rather-low-class-culture.
as what ET says, just take a step at a time. i thought i would give myself at least 3 yrs, but i hoped i could survive till end of Oct... now, that really shows how bad it becoming for me.
yes i agree, i don't seem to be interacting alot purely because I SIMPLY CAN'T FIT IN!! OMG!! it is like bad la! i mean, i don't go around cussing and swearing at every single sentence i speak, nor do i constantly crack yellow jokes! gawd! how can i stoop to that kind of level!? that's like so low class!! and i'm simply not that unrefined! how can i change myself to be that unrefined to that kind of extend just to "bond with the sales team"??!
there's this lady who happened to be one of my predecessor, currently working for another team. she is CRUDE! and i don't like that. as a woman, u don't simply just talk about balls and pussies or nipples just to mingle with guys. yeah, the men there prolly liked it, but puh-lease! that's so degrading! such a pretty lady in her mid-thirties who's married with a 4 year old kid, carrying herself this way?? oh c'mon! she's a funny lady, but i thought trying to be like her is WAY overboard for me. i'm cheeky, but in a civilised way. i don't go around and say things like "tickling her nipples" or "confirm make her shiok down there" or "give him that black hole" etc... gawd! so uncouth! i shudder even typing abt it. i'm not trying to act high-class here. it's only about respecting people and behaving yourself. UPS trained me well. after all, i worked in other local companies before, i have never come across such crude culture like this!
anyway, the sales team have been working together for at least, 6 years and above? i'm only there for 6 months! and they're all Men. how does she expect me to just "blend in"? it definitely takes more than 6 months.. hello!?!?
i guess considering that i come from a "different culture", i am currently deemed to be the outcasted one.
when my PM said the boss is very "pro-Sales team", i took it with a pinch of salt. after all, he ranted and whined alot and put ppl down behind their backs so how to take him seriously, right? but i think i finally see it the way he meant. it became rather obvious the sales mgr is playing dirty, feeding inaccurate information abt me to the boss. otherwise, why would she said i should "make my presence known" or "be louder". i really dislike the way that sales mgr handled this. if he feels a need for me to mingle more with his sales team, he should come to me directly and not tell my boss. yes, it could be my boss just asked him abt me, and he shares with her what he observed and things like that. even so, he should have approached me directly before, or even after he shared with her. he needn't to wait till the boss asked and then he just share "what he knows". and honestly, i doubt my boss even asked him if he has spoken to me about it.
i was complaining this to my ex-boss, ET. she said that it's obvious that i don't sit in with such culture. and considering how the sales mgr tell "things" to my boss, there'll be backstabbing within the team. worse, it's a TEAM of sales against poor little me. so naturally it would demoralizing. so how to stay long? she told me to find some better place. i don't doubt i won't, but there is a need to have the right time. now, i need the experience, and sadly i'm enjoying what i'm doing, perhaps just not the industry. then again, i don't know if other FMCG companies are the same....
my PM resigned and his last day would be end of this month. i didn't expect him to be leaving for real, after all, he kept going on and on and on about he's going to quit but somehow just didn't. so i'll be, erm, fending for myself.
my boss asked me to go think whether i would want to continue with this job or whether this job is suitable for me. i was taken aback. trying to take this positively, she just wants me to make sure this is what i'm expecting and if i can carry on working with them. if i am thinking otherwise, i'm free to go. i thought i felt her bruising my ego.
anyway, as long as i'm in this team, it's beginning to be tougher than i expected. i may have a really nice boss, but a boss who seemed to be listening to her sales team more, then it will be a bigger push factor, other than the rather-low-class-culture.
as what ET says, just take a step at a time. i thought i would give myself at least 3 yrs, but i hoped i could survive till end of Oct... now, that really shows how bad it becoming for me.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
single again
after 15 months of having someone, i'm alone once more. i guess the perks about dating would be not having to worry about whether i would have anything to do for the weekends. even though, yes, when we're together we do have to think of what to do. only difference is, the company - whether or not there is anything to do. even hanging out at his place also beats having to sit around whole day, not knowing what to do or where to go. and worse still, none of friends that've tried contacting would be available. sigh...
all i can say is, start getting used to being alone again.
all i can say is, start getting used to being alone again.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
i'm still here
wow. little did i realize how long i've stopped writing. many things happened along the way, just that i didn't know what to write, or perhaps, i've beginning to lost interest in writing. even i've neglected the TSK blog. i'm ashamed. but at least now, i doubt any one i know would be keeping track of this blog, and i can blog freely again. :)
i missed UPS, i missed the team so much! i missed having to communicate with them everyday. i missed bitching about stuff, the bosses and any other thing that rubs me on the wrong side.
in this new company, i'm beginning to blend in and get the hang of things. in a blink of an eye, i'm almost 5 months old with this company. it seems that nothing could replace my old UPS team. really nothing.
my bestie has gotten married, after 6 years of stale courtship. when i mean stale, it's really stale. they practically just spend weekend together doing their things, occasionally going out for some window shopping at the neighborhood malls. oh well, as long as it works for them. and i'm glad she finally found a good guy, or at least i hope he would cont'd to be.
jasmine is gonna get married soon too, after just a mere 8 months of courtship. she's 2 months pregnant. even though i felt she's still young and they just got together not long enough, i knew both jasmine and andy are very much in love. most imptly, i don't doubt andy's capabilities to take care of her and his new family. there is nothing wrong with this r'ship, only still too young. perhaps, it doesn't really matter how long they're together, as long as they're willing to brave the storm together. come to think about it, i was once like them, with YM. now i'm only glad i pulled out the last min.
i've been fighting alot with nick. and the more i think abt it, the more i don't think we could be together for long. only holding on was coz' i still love him. but is love all that matters? he doesn't want to guarantee me a future, and i don't pin any more hopes of a future with him. i can't help feeling my clock is ticking, and time is slipping away day by day. should i even be putting more effort to keep this r'ship, or i'm actually better off finding someone else?
now that the skies are clearing, i've resumed jogging. i used to hate jogging so much, but now, i actually don't hate it that much already. cindy's right, it's the cheapest way to stay healthy when there's no money for gym. and for the sake of keeping up my metabolism so i can still keep up my food intake, i decided to cont'd jogging even without cindy's company. i even brought Scrabbie for a run with me. he needed the run even though he's 11 yrs old already. most imptly, i liked the feeling of perspiration, knowing my heart is thumping, and the blood in circulating. in fact, i actually felt good after my run, even if it's only half an hr and covered a small distance of approximately 4km. i hope i can keep up with it in the long run.
alright, it's time to hit the bed. good night.
i missed UPS, i missed the team so much! i missed having to communicate with them everyday. i missed bitching about stuff, the bosses and any other thing that rubs me on the wrong side.
in this new company, i'm beginning to blend in and get the hang of things. in a blink of an eye, i'm almost 5 months old with this company. it seems that nothing could replace my old UPS team. really nothing.
my bestie has gotten married, after 6 years of stale courtship. when i mean stale, it's really stale. they practically just spend weekend together doing their things, occasionally going out for some window shopping at the neighborhood malls. oh well, as long as it works for them. and i'm glad she finally found a good guy, or at least i hope he would cont'd to be.
jasmine is gonna get married soon too, after just a mere 8 months of courtship. she's 2 months pregnant. even though i felt she's still young and they just got together not long enough, i knew both jasmine and andy are very much in love. most imptly, i don't doubt andy's capabilities to take care of her and his new family. there is nothing wrong with this r'ship, only still too young. perhaps, it doesn't really matter how long they're together, as long as they're willing to brave the storm together. come to think about it, i was once like them, with YM. now i'm only glad i pulled out the last min.
i've been fighting alot with nick. and the more i think abt it, the more i don't think we could be together for long. only holding on was coz' i still love him. but is love all that matters? he doesn't want to guarantee me a future, and i don't pin any more hopes of a future with him. i can't help feeling my clock is ticking, and time is slipping away day by day. should i even be putting more effort to keep this r'ship, or i'm actually better off finding someone else?
now that the skies are clearing, i've resumed jogging. i used to hate jogging so much, but now, i actually don't hate it that much already. cindy's right, it's the cheapest way to stay healthy when there's no money for gym. and for the sake of keeping up my metabolism so i can still keep up my food intake, i decided to cont'd jogging even without cindy's company. i even brought Scrabbie for a run with me. he needed the run even though he's 11 yrs old already. most imptly, i liked the feeling of perspiration, knowing my heart is thumping, and the blood in circulating. in fact, i actually felt good after my run, even if it's only half an hr and covered a small distance of approximately 4km. i hope i can keep up with it in the long run.
alright, it's time to hit the bed. good night.
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