wassup with the subject, some would guess. simple. the widely-known proverb, "curiousity kills the cat". and this entry is dedicated to that particular "whoever" who reads my blog and gets sensitive about it.
"i will try to be careful, ok? promise i won't let you out... and i just need to let it out coz' sometimes i feel injustice for you."
i need to gather my thoughts. it's actually quite tough trying write what i feel but yet having to be REAL careful about what i've intended to post up. in fact, there's so much to say but feeling so restricted for now.
i simply write what i feel that particular day. happy, sad or angry. bascially, posting my feelings online is an avenue for me to reach out to my fellow friends who are constantly not with me and would probably think how's my life without them. after all, we lead our own lives and it's always good to know how others are going.
so to YOU, why do YOU choose to read and get angry over something which doesn't concerns YOU? on top of that, it's your choice to read isn't it? and then, get pissed off for something you didn't wish to see and confront him for it?? don't YOU just asked for it?
when there's no chemistry, even if you're to create a fart bomb with beta rays, there's still nothing more to it. i know that example doesn't make sense. but what i'm trying to say is that there's such thing as "pluto" friendship. be it with a man who's doubled your age, or a teen 10 years your junior, such thing existed! kindly GET OUT of your conservative thinking and plunge yourself to the millenium. for goodness sake, it's even a waste of time to think there's anything more to it. don't feel good, THEN DON'T READ LAH!
i felt so wronged because i practiced self-censorship already and yet, somebody else got misunderstood. and i can't stop writing. it's ridiculous to even think of shutting down this blog for "someone" who couldn't control their emotions.
suddenly, i missed diary-x.
at least, i know who reads my blog and could feel safe about expressing full fledged. now, i think i need to change someone else's nickname here. or perhaps, i'll changed everyone's. so it wouldn't be so obvious. maybe i should just heck care and make it damn obvious so as to spite that "someone" there's nothing they can do about it OTHER THAN THEMSELVES!
argh! they simply pissed me off.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Sunday, July 16, 2006
i missed having my Sundays off. and i sincerely dreaded my 2nd having to place me an Afternoon shift on a Sunday. it's like quite ridiculous to put a part-timer in a Morning shift when the purpose of part-timers are to relieve full-timer like me. ha! whatever....
On Friday, i requested a Rest Day to attend YM's ORD Parade. the weather was nice, cloudy and all. and most importantly, YM looked so smart and suave in his White Uniform. somehow, i couldn't imagine how "unsmart" was then his Red Beret Parade where he wore his Green uniform with camouflage smeared over his face. and by comparing our pictures taken during his Red Beret Presentation and now his ORD Parade, we simply couldn't deny that time flies. i was short hair then, and now, my hair is so much longer. and him was so much more lean then while you can see his puffier face now. kekeke.... ORD liao ma, good life!
so that vainpot literally made me ran after his heels and took so many pictures. and previously, he told his parents not to complain about him keep taking photos because it's his last parade after all. he took with his Commander Officer, his blah blah sergents and his buddies etc. on top of that, he kept looking for his friends and made sure he has taken with most of them. wah kaoz...
anyway, the pictures are at his desktop. i'll see how i'll be able to upload them soon.
and so, i'll be going to work later. bleah. i just didn't like working on a Sunday and don't ask why. i've seen my roster for this coming week and viola! just pure madness!
Mon - Full
Tues - Full
Wed - Full
Thurs - Full
Fri - Full
Sat - 1/2 Morning @ RP
Sun - RD
thank goodness my Full are at RP, so working hours are significantly shorter. and also, i would rather stay in RP than to relieve at Bugis. somehow, it's a love-hate roster week that they planned for me.
soon i'll be leaving for HK. those who have not tell me what they need me to get, i'll simply get you some snacks copyrighted of HK. okie? as for myself, i'll be getting bags, shoes, accessories and maybe some clothes.
ooh! i'm so excited!!
before i pen off, i need to check if you guys know if our ATM cards would be able to use overseas? as i might not have enough money to bring over at the moment, i need to withdraw some cash when my salary arrives and would be bank into OCBC. coincidentally, i don't have a debit card from OCBC. so if i'm to do an immediate bank transfer to UOB, it'll still take 2 to 3 working days and it's late. and i can't manage to apply a debit card now from OCBC at this point in time coz' it takes 2 weeks. i need advice. thanks!
On Friday, i requested a Rest Day to attend YM's ORD Parade. the weather was nice, cloudy and all. and most importantly, YM looked so smart and suave in his White Uniform. somehow, i couldn't imagine how "unsmart" was then his Red Beret Parade where he wore his Green uniform with camouflage smeared over his face. and by comparing our pictures taken during his Red Beret Presentation and now his ORD Parade, we simply couldn't deny that time flies. i was short hair then, and now, my hair is so much longer. and him was so much more lean then while you can see his puffier face now. kekeke.... ORD liao ma, good life!
so that vainpot literally made me ran after his heels and took so many pictures. and previously, he told his parents not to complain about him keep taking photos because it's his last parade after all. he took with his Commander Officer, his blah blah sergents and his buddies etc. on top of that, he kept looking for his friends and made sure he has taken with most of them. wah kaoz...
anyway, the pictures are at his desktop. i'll see how i'll be able to upload them soon.
and so, i'll be going to work later. bleah. i just didn't like working on a Sunday and don't ask why. i've seen my roster for this coming week and viola! just pure madness!
Mon - Full
Tues - Full
Wed - Full
Thurs - Full
Fri - Full
Sat - 1/2 Morning @ RP
Sun - RD
thank goodness my Full are at RP, so working hours are significantly shorter. and also, i would rather stay in RP than to relieve at Bugis. somehow, it's a love-hate roster week that they planned for me.
soon i'll be leaving for HK. those who have not tell me what they need me to get, i'll simply get you some snacks copyrighted of HK. okie? as for myself, i'll be getting bags, shoes, accessories and maybe some clothes.
ooh! i'm so excited!!
before i pen off, i need to check if you guys know if our ATM cards would be able to use overseas? as i might not have enough money to bring over at the moment, i need to withdraw some cash when my salary arrives and would be bank into OCBC. coincidentally, i don't have a debit card from OCBC. so if i'm to do an immediate bank transfer to UOB, it'll still take 2 to 3 working days and it's late. and i can't manage to apply a debit card now from OCBC at this point in time coz' it takes 2 weeks. i need advice. thanks!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
my long awaiting rest day...
wah liew!
the wait for my rest day tomorrow almost felt like eternity. somehow, i felt i kept working and working and working till there's always a working tomorrow instead. worse still, nowadays youngsters are getting so irresponsible that they keep playing truant till the roster for the rest of us were stretched to our max.
it's quite nice to see a mail sent by our AM, giving us some warning to be prepared of the hectic roster all of us will get. that small gesture was quite heartwarming to me, coz' at least it showed that our direct superior cares during times like this when things were not running smoothly.
anyway, i just received a cheque from my 4th auntie. so which means studies would be confirmed. *grins* tomorrow, i'll head down to the school tomorrow to make payment. and lessons would officially starts 31 Jul for me. so hectic eh! arrives back in SG on the 30th, the next day is another working AND 1st lesson for me. suddenly, i didnt know what to bring to school. haa! reminds me my 1st day of Poly where i was caught in the same dillemma. so nostalgic! kekeke....
at the meantime, since it's my rest day, i just want to sleep instead of staying up late. well, staying up late seems tempting to me as well... kekeke....
the wait for my rest day tomorrow almost felt like eternity. somehow, i felt i kept working and working and working till there's always a working tomorrow instead. worse still, nowadays youngsters are getting so irresponsible that they keep playing truant till the roster for the rest of us were stretched to our max.
it's quite nice to see a mail sent by our AM, giving us some warning to be prepared of the hectic roster all of us will get. that small gesture was quite heartwarming to me, coz' at least it showed that our direct superior cares during times like this when things were not running smoothly.
anyway, i just received a cheque from my 4th auntie. so which means studies would be confirmed. *grins* tomorrow, i'll head down to the school tomorrow to make payment. and lessons would officially starts 31 Jul for me. so hectic eh! arrives back in SG on the 30th, the next day is another working AND 1st lesson for me. suddenly, i didnt know what to bring to school. haa! reminds me my 1st day of Poly where i was caught in the same dillemma. so nostalgic! kekeke....
at the meantime, since it's my rest day, i just want to sleep instead of staying up late. well, staying up late seems tempting to me as well... kekeke....
Monday, July 10, 2006
Sorry IS the hardest word...
does that phrase sounds familiar? there's a song sang by Elton John and Blue. how true it is.
ok, i believe i was immature and insensitive in my previous entry, unscrupulously lashing at committed in-charges who're basically doing what they have to do. perhaps i underestimated Retail careers, thinking they're not "up to standard" to the office world.
my Area Manager called me up this afternoon, requesting to talk to me. uncannily, i felt i understood the purpose of his call. true enough, he came to talk to me about the trip thinggie.
despite i was defiant, i must say it's my bad from the start of not having to inform earlier when i had so many opportunities to. though i still feel it's pretty pointless to preempt, but i should have told somebody esp one of the in-charges. since i'm much more comfortable telling my SM of BJ, i should have done so and not thinking that i have given ample time to make arrangements without realizing the time i've chosen to give them may not be sufficient.
suddenly, i felt stupid.
my AM's a kind man. even though i've apologized, i didnt feel any better. but well, just had to go with it. the thing that i've not gotten over the fact that i need to call to apologize. hmm. it's quite hard for me since i need to convince myself the seriousness in this issue. at least it had began to sink in and i guess i needed the right time to do so. asap, i hope. coz' i got a gut feeling my AM's gonna ask BJ's in-charges if i've apologized for my ignorance (coz' they're the ones who plan our roster).
i need to change my attitude, and my mentality. i was stuck up, still thinking i came from the "matured" working society and therefore condemning the rest of the people working there as ignorant fools when i'm the pot calling the kettle black. my lack of understanding has gotten me into foolish mistakes which could have been long avoided.
looks like it's time to really open up my mind and start learning for good.
ok, i believe i was immature and insensitive in my previous entry, unscrupulously lashing at committed in-charges who're basically doing what they have to do. perhaps i underestimated Retail careers, thinking they're not "up to standard" to the office world.
my Area Manager called me up this afternoon, requesting to talk to me. uncannily, i felt i understood the purpose of his call. true enough, he came to talk to me about the trip thinggie.
despite i was defiant, i must say it's my bad from the start of not having to inform earlier when i had so many opportunities to. though i still feel it's pretty pointless to preempt, but i should have told somebody esp one of the in-charges. since i'm much more comfortable telling my SM of BJ, i should have done so and not thinking that i have given ample time to make arrangements without realizing the time i've chosen to give them may not be sufficient.
suddenly, i felt stupid.
my AM's a kind man. even though i've apologized, i didnt feel any better. but well, just had to go with it. the thing that i've not gotten over the fact that i need to call to apologize. hmm. it's quite hard for me since i need to convince myself the seriousness in this issue. at least it had began to sink in and i guess i needed the right time to do so. asap, i hope. coz' i got a gut feeling my AM's gonna ask BJ's in-charges if i've apologized for my ignorance (coz' they're the ones who plan our roster).
i need to change my attitude, and my mentality. i was stuck up, still thinking i came from the "matured" working society and therefore condemning the rest of the people working there as ignorant fools when i'm the pot calling the kettle black. my lack of understanding has gotten me into foolish mistakes which could have been long avoided.
looks like it's time to really open up my mind and start learning for good.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
another rants of in-charges
alright, i must admit, Lis had serious mood swings but i thought it somehow got better. maybe we're beginning to be able to catch each other's lingo and blend as a team. so my life seems to be turning for the better.
i guess it's Mother Nature's doings, for things to be balanced. a man and a woman, a good and a bad. basically, when one side of the things are turning better, something else would seep in and starts spoiling plans.
as everybody knows, i'm going for my trip. and also, soon enough i'll be going for studies soon. as for studies, Wen called me on my mobile to discuss with me. it was my bad for not having to inform earlier. 1stly coz' i don't know what my schedule would be like. 2ndly, i'm presently transferred to Raffles to help Lis. however, with my studies, i'm not sure how i would be of help to her. because of that, it made me ponder till now. what that quite turned me off was the ignorance of Wen.
initially, she spoke with me about the studies thinggie and she asked me stuff which i don't know at this point in time till i've chose my modules. she actually proposed (in advance) to push my studies to choose my lessons on the weekends instead of weekdays. and to give me some leeway, she also pointed out days which would be better for me to have my lessons. which is Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. it's like wah liew! how shallow she is about studies?!?
next! i told her that i need to take leave on the 26th coz' i'm going overseas for holidays. when she repeated that my trip has been confirmed, she bluntly put it to me saying:
"like that, you LL have to go already right...?"
like DUH! she expects me to check with them whether it'll be approved before i booked my holiday. it's also coz' another staff might be taking leave as well during the dates i've picked so her main concerns would be not having enough manpower. i'm quite pissed off with her mainly due to her lack of leadership professionalism by saying to me things like that. another is, i feel i've given HER ample time to work out her roster. so what's the fuss? furthermore, i'm taking UNPAID leave lor!
c'mon lo! when my leave would be confirmed, what if my trip is not? and also, rates don't usually published earlier than 1-month. even if i'm to inform them earlier but it would confirmed at the last minute, would it helped the situation by telling them earlier? NO!
maybe i missed the fact that Retail would be after all different from the Office society. where i would only need to inform about any leave no less than 1 week in advance in Office, i need to inform 1 month in advance for some incompetent 2nd-in-charge to plan their roster. which is no wonder why Retail would somehow perceived as a much "lower class" compared to the Office. with leaders like that, it's tough for the boutique to excel.
it kind of explain why Wen starts to irritate the rest of the team with her ever-changing roster even in the last minute. so much difference compared to the SM planning roster, where everyone gets their share of 2 offs per week, whenever possible. in simpler words, my current SM is really "ZHAI". everything is so stable with her. too bad, she'll be transferring...
i guess it's Mother Nature's doings, for things to be balanced. a man and a woman, a good and a bad. basically, when one side of the things are turning better, something else would seep in and starts spoiling plans.
as everybody knows, i'm going for my trip. and also, soon enough i'll be going for studies soon. as for studies, Wen called me on my mobile to discuss with me. it was my bad for not having to inform earlier. 1stly coz' i don't know what my schedule would be like. 2ndly, i'm presently transferred to Raffles to help Lis. however, with my studies, i'm not sure how i would be of help to her. because of that, it made me ponder till now. what that quite turned me off was the ignorance of Wen.
initially, she spoke with me about the studies thinggie and she asked me stuff which i don't know at this point in time till i've chose my modules. she actually proposed (in advance) to push my studies to choose my lessons on the weekends instead of weekdays. and to give me some leeway, she also pointed out days which would be better for me to have my lessons. which is Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. it's like wah liew! how shallow she is about studies?!?
next! i told her that i need to take leave on the 26th coz' i'm going overseas for holidays. when she repeated that my trip has been confirmed, she bluntly put it to me saying:
"like that, you LL have to go already right...?"
like DUH! she expects me to check with them whether it'll be approved before i booked my holiday. it's also coz' another staff might be taking leave as well during the dates i've picked so her main concerns would be not having enough manpower. i'm quite pissed off with her mainly due to her lack of leadership professionalism by saying to me things like that. another is, i feel i've given HER ample time to work out her roster. so what's the fuss? furthermore, i'm taking UNPAID leave lor!
c'mon lo! when my leave would be confirmed, what if my trip is not? and also, rates don't usually published earlier than 1-month. even if i'm to inform them earlier but it would confirmed at the last minute, would it helped the situation by telling them earlier? NO!
maybe i missed the fact that Retail would be after all different from the Office society. where i would only need to inform about any leave no less than 1 week in advance in Office, i need to inform 1 month in advance for some incompetent 2nd-in-charge to plan their roster. which is no wonder why Retail would somehow perceived as a much "lower class" compared to the Office. with leaders like that, it's tough for the boutique to excel.
it kind of explain why Wen starts to irritate the rest of the team with her ever-changing roster even in the last minute. so much difference compared to the SM planning roster, where everyone gets their share of 2 offs per week, whenever possible. in simpler words, my current SM is really "ZHAI". everything is so stable with her. too bad, she'll be transferring...
Monday, July 03, 2006
the lonely lady
she felt the stab in her heart, still feeling unbelieveable about what her daughter had done. everything seemed to have laid before her eyes, still hoping that everything she heard and saw was a lie. she has no one, since she sincerely felt that her beloved daughter has "betrayed" her, other than her sons to depend on. she felt pathetic.
that's my mum above.
she kept accusing me that i contributed to my dad's lawyer false accusations that she has a boyfriend outside. and she kept probing if i was made to go down to the lawyer's office to make any "swearing" or anything. after which she gave me a real long lecture about how i've hurt her feelings and how unfeeling i was to not stand by her instead. what fuck.
i didnt bother to fend for myself even though i'm innocent. 1stly, i didn't see a point to clarify anything to her since she would never see my point. and would most likely take what i've said to fight back my dad in the court. 2ndly, i don't wish to end up getting myself trapped further in between both parents when i already feel i am. lastly (but not the least), i'm doing her a favor to let her rant. she's forever so bitter.
after all, she grew up in a big family. i mean, she has 5 other siblings but none she could find solitude. unlike my dad, who apparently has his whole family backed up and missiles ready for war. which sets me thinking: would i end up in situation like my mum in future, where i had no one to turn to, or even to confide in when times go bad?
every word or quotes from me is as good as a useful grenade for either parties. even if we swore to stay mutual, it would eventually lead to siding someone. coz' eventually, either parties accusations would require certain amount of evidence. and where does the evidences come from? us, of course. so how could we really stay mutual as what we claimed to be? i wish i could stay out of such sticky situation.
to even think that my mum had someone to rely on, which is my bros, i definitely thought of my dad. fancying me trying to think both sides, i'm given a long lecture by that woman saying that she thought i would stay by her. being a mother is tough, what difference does trying-to-be-partial-and-filial-to-both-sides daughter could be?
my heart went out to her. she needed someone but i'm afraid it just can't be me. i can stand one side to think and empathize her situation. but knowing that woman, she would get overboard if she has too much support.
for that, at least, it's what i see.
that's my mum above.
she kept accusing me that i contributed to my dad's lawyer false accusations that she has a boyfriend outside. and she kept probing if i was made to go down to the lawyer's office to make any "swearing" or anything. after which she gave me a real long lecture about how i've hurt her feelings and how unfeeling i was to not stand by her instead. what fuck.
i didnt bother to fend for myself even though i'm innocent. 1stly, i didn't see a point to clarify anything to her since she would never see my point. and would most likely take what i've said to fight back my dad in the court. 2ndly, i don't wish to end up getting myself trapped further in between both parents when i already feel i am. lastly (but not the least), i'm doing her a favor to let her rant. she's forever so bitter.
after all, she grew up in a big family. i mean, she has 5 other siblings but none she could find solitude. unlike my dad, who apparently has his whole family backed up and missiles ready for war. which sets me thinking: would i end up in situation like my mum in future, where i had no one to turn to, or even to confide in when times go bad?
every word or quotes from me is as good as a useful grenade for either parties. even if we swore to stay mutual, it would eventually lead to siding someone. coz' eventually, either parties accusations would require certain amount of evidence. and where does the evidences come from? us, of course. so how could we really stay mutual as what we claimed to be? i wish i could stay out of such sticky situation.
to even think that my mum had someone to rely on, which is my bros, i definitely thought of my dad. fancying me trying to think both sides, i'm given a long lecture by that woman saying that she thought i would stay by her. being a mother is tough, what difference does trying-to-be-partial-and-filial-to-both-sides daughter could be?
my heart went out to her. she needed someone but i'm afraid it just can't be me. i can stand one side to think and empathize her situation. but knowing that woman, she would get overboard if she has too much support.
for that, at least, it's what i see.
Sunday, July 02, 2006
it has just passed midnight and my eyes are beginning to get droopy. somehow, there's nothing much to do in this Internet world. sitting here in front of my PC and wandering aimlessly through my cable, i'm starting to feel bored.
i dread having to work tomorrow. worse still, i don't even get the luxury to work a morning shift. and i'm beginning to dislike Bugis. other than the rude tourists, the shop itself is often disorganized and crowded. there isn't alot of shop space and yet there're so many people working at the same time. i agree that things are done easier with more people. but there's also a saying goes, "too many cooks spoils the broth". and somehow, working there really drains my energy.
anyway, i've gotten my acceptance letter from Curtin and would have to complete 15 units. there's a module selection form which i need some guidance to complete before Jul 15. and subsequently, my class would officially starts on Jul 31, coincidentally the day after i got back from HK. whew! that thought to start schooling again kinda excites me... and i'm wondering if mei and hua felt this way too.
i'm bored, as usual. but i've a good book by Dan Brown to save me for the time being. and i'm beginning to get incoherent...
i dread having to work tomorrow. worse still, i don't even get the luxury to work a morning shift. and i'm beginning to dislike Bugis. other than the rude tourists, the shop itself is often disorganized and crowded. there isn't alot of shop space and yet there're so many people working at the same time. i agree that things are done easier with more people. but there's also a saying goes, "too many cooks spoils the broth". and somehow, working there really drains my energy.
anyway, i've gotten my acceptance letter from Curtin and would have to complete 15 units. there's a module selection form which i need some guidance to complete before Jul 15. and subsequently, my class would officially starts on Jul 31, coincidentally the day after i got back from HK. whew! that thought to start schooling again kinda excites me... and i'm wondering if mei and hua felt this way too.
i'm bored, as usual. but i've a good book by Dan Brown to save me for the time being. and i'm beginning to get incoherent...
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