an oversight

when a person feels down, bad things somehow would make their way in. i will start to wonder are all these preplanned, carelessness or basically fated to happen.

i don't wish to elaborate about the problem cases im going through right now. all i can say i'm at my wits' end and my sales are affected. i have no freaking idea how my manager is going to deduct my sales for that month since she had already paid me my well-deserved commission.

i know it's my oversight and i have finally learnt my lessons the hard way. i'm already depressed enough about my miserable pay and now these stupid cases have to fly across the continent and splat flat on my face. they added kerosene to fire, dumping salt to gap wound, having an in-grown toenail. that's how irritating, how painful, how frustating it is.

so no one can blame me for having a brought-forward menopause...

nostalgic

when old feelings come rushing back, what will i do? or what can i do? i'm only being human to have feelings.

some once-thought-to-be-a-special-occasion is drawing nearer. someone who was supposedly to be really special is going to celebrate the occasion with someone else, whom i regretted deeply it wasn't me. it's not my time now. the baton has passed on to someone else, who's rated to be much more eligible. i was once seethingly jealous. right now, i'm just feeling disappointed with my incapabilities and folly back then.

it has been a year.

when will i stop feeling this way? when will i stop looking back? when will i stop reprimanding myself for the past?

i am happy of where i am. up-above has given me a new hope, a new life to look forward to. however, juz blame me for being sentimental for the wrong matters.

about him...

gotten some negative feedbacks about my boyfriend. of course, it's not pleasing to know but yet, i felt ashamed to be oblivious to his actions. maybe i don't get to see it coming from him. after all, he always puts me forth. or perhaps, i'm not too much of a taker so i don't get to sense he's being self-centred or anything.

nonetheless, i appreciated my friend's comments. at least she puts it subtly to me, which i understood where she is coming from.

i know he gotta change for the better... and i'm wondering how to help when i don't really catch him...

i wouldnt say this blog is not user-friendly but simply not used to it. my secret blog in diary-x is pretty much straight-forward and also, everything has to be done myself. from the basic skin, to comments posting, to tagboard and navigation links, i have to source my own. on top of tht, i have to figure out all the codes in order to get the whole diary up and ready for posting. it is tedious but there was a sense of satisfaction.

whatever...

1st day

i know i must be weird or something... creating a 3rd blog... but hell...

maybe i'll keep this blog for sometime... or perhaps a couple more months and u'll see me deleting this... hmm... i dunno...