i know adding on to the numbers on my age is agonizing. however, after reading some of my blog posts randomly, dated as far as year 2007, it dawned upon me how much i've grown. it's something worth rejoicing, and i'm really glad.
when i blog, my innermost feelings are recorded. especially when i'm upset or angry about something, the words i used are so strong, so so so tactless. with my terrible temper and attitude, i believed i've hurt many people, including my own family. reading some of the posts i've written out of anger, it brought tears to my eyes to know how i have been. those were the days of being young and brash. i know what i was thinking back then, when i blogged. just that it didn't dawn upon me how narrow-minded i was.
i guessed it's true, wisdom comes with age. and yet i thought i was matured back then. my ass! hahahahaha... yes, i've went through some real challenges, from handling family drama, to being a runaway bride, to "forced resignation" from my previous company... well, it's rather eventful. and honestly, i thank God for putting me through all these challenges, and pulled me through one by one. and most importantly, i grew up bit by bit.
i feel that discovering my religion should be my biggest breakthrough in this stage of my life. it changed the way i think, the way i behave. i've learned to be appreciative towards people who loved me, even the littlest thing. for a while now, i felt at peace. i couldn't say i'm no longer stubborn, coz' i can still be quite adamant on certain things, but i feel that i'm more accomodating to others now. i'm no longer angry about things that have happened, no longer angry of my family whom i've misunderstood for the longest time. so blessed that i "woke up". and my greatest gift? i mended the bridge with my family, especially with my mum and my eldest bro. their unwavering love and support, i only have myself to blame. so blinded by my self-righteousness, and my angst.
i'm thankful, so thankful, ever thankful.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Stay Home Weekends...
i don't know since when, i've become a homebody. almost every weekend i'm home, only stepping out of the house to get food or do some simple grocery shoppings. i guessed that's life for a singleton. sometimes it's boring to the max, but also, it is a way to slow down from work and catch up with rest. however, i don't hang out much after work too. hmmm.
colleagues are simply curious how come i don't have a boyfriend. i wished to know why too. hahaha... i guess it's just that as age catches up, i'm not too keen in 'socializing'. i rather bond with my bunch of friends, rather than making new friends. so when i'm constantly surrounded by platonic friends, it would take longer to hook up with someone, i believe. how long i intend to stay single? well, i don't know. i guess when it comes, it comes. and i believe i'm still finding "the one"... i thought i found him, but fate wasn't smiling on us on this one... not ever, i think. unless..... a twist of events? yeah, i wished... and that's evil.
it's kind of getting to me seeing people i know posting their pictures of their "happily ever after" and their "bundle of joy". there's nothing wrong at all. only wonder if there's something wrong with me. 27, going on 28, and soon 30. wow, i'm old. maternal instincts are slowly creeping in. when i see little tots, i would smile and give a silent prayer to keep the baby safe. sometimes, i would feel at peace watching the baby's actions. and now that my bestie is pregnant, i'm constantly overwhelmed with joy, anticipating the arrival of her baby. and i do look forward to some good news from my brother soon!
anyhow, i guess there will be more stay-home weekends for me till i'm hooked up again. not that it's anything bad, but i don't enjoy staying home and moping over the fact i'm dateless. hahaha... oh well....
colleagues are simply curious how come i don't have a boyfriend. i wished to know why too. hahaha... i guess it's just that as age catches up, i'm not too keen in 'socializing'. i rather bond with my bunch of friends, rather than making new friends. so when i'm constantly surrounded by platonic friends, it would take longer to hook up with someone, i believe. how long i intend to stay single? well, i don't know. i guess when it comes, it comes. and i believe i'm still finding "the one"... i thought i found him, but fate wasn't smiling on us on this one... not ever, i think. unless..... a twist of events? yeah, i wished... and that's evil.
it's kind of getting to me seeing people i know posting their pictures of their "happily ever after" and their "bundle of joy". there's nothing wrong at all. only wonder if there's something wrong with me. 27, going on 28, and soon 30. wow, i'm old. maternal instincts are slowly creeping in. when i see little tots, i would smile and give a silent prayer to keep the baby safe. sometimes, i would feel at peace watching the baby's actions. and now that my bestie is pregnant, i'm constantly overwhelmed with joy, anticipating the arrival of her baby. and i do look forward to some good news from my brother soon!
anyhow, i guess there will be more stay-home weekends for me till i'm hooked up again. not that it's anything bad, but i don't enjoy staying home and moping over the fact i'm dateless. hahaha... oh well....
Sunday, January 01, 2012
The Peace, Hope, Love, and Joy of a New Year!
in a blink of an eye, we've just ushered in the new year. many people i'd used to know are either married or busy making babies. in fact, there seemed to have many new babies last year. for me, i'm still comfortably single. i do feel that age is creeping in. yet, there're just some things i have no intention to rush. come to think about it, i'm kind of past the phase that i'm so eager beaver to marry myself off, joining the "trend", wasn't it? anyway, i don't want to think how old i'll ever get hitched, i don't want to think if i'll ever have a family of my own, nor i want to envy people happily married. i'm Me. and i don't want regrets in life. and i promise myself, a real long time ago, i won't.
in today's Homily in Mass, i was reminded (yet again) to live in the Present. forget abt the negativities of the past, and do not bring those (negativities) with me to the Present. Live In The Present. and Father Bruno shared with the church of his friend, a Buddhist Monk, that when he sent an email, there would a email signature that said, "Have a Nice Day... unless you have something else in mind." i laughed. it's so true. this is something so simple, and yet so difficult to attain.
in the book, The Power of Now, it preaches simply the same things. leave the past, don't worry about the future, start working on the Now, i.e. the Present.
i have made some resolution for the New Year 2012, and i have all the determination to stick with it. when i was thinking i had everything pretty much covered, i realize it was all about myself. so no, the resolution is not complete. hence, i decided i add one more resolution to my list,
"to make it home for meals with Mama, at least once a month."
some would feel that "once a month" is kind of stingy. but i feel it's a good start. i do feel guilty that i only go over on certain occasions. and as much as i felt guilty, she may not be free for me too. hence, it has to be arranged, in a way.
and i believe one of the most important resolution for myself is,
"forget the Past, leave the Future to the Lord, start Living in the Present".
to myself, to my Love ones, to everyone,
Happy New Year.
in today's Homily in Mass, i was reminded (yet again) to live in the Present. forget abt the negativities of the past, and do not bring those (negativities) with me to the Present. Live In The Present. and Father Bruno shared with the church of his friend, a Buddhist Monk, that when he sent an email, there would a email signature that said, "Have a Nice Day... unless you have something else in mind." i laughed. it's so true. this is something so simple, and yet so difficult to attain.
in the book, The Power of Now, it preaches simply the same things. leave the past, don't worry about the future, start working on the Now, i.e. the Present.
i have made some resolution for the New Year 2012, and i have all the determination to stick with it. when i was thinking i had everything pretty much covered, i realize it was all about myself. so no, the resolution is not complete. hence, i decided i add one more resolution to my list,
"to make it home for meals with Mama, at least once a month."
some would feel that "once a month" is kind of stingy. but i feel it's a good start. i do feel guilty that i only go over on certain occasions. and as much as i felt guilty, she may not be free for me too. hence, it has to be arranged, in a way.
and i believe one of the most important resolution for myself is,
"forget the Past, leave the Future to the Lord, start Living in the Present".
to myself, to my Love ones, to everyone,
Happy New Year.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
for better skin...
as a staff of a skincare company, i do get the perks - 30% off products, 40% off treatments. really, it's quite attractive, especially when the stuffs are really expensive. ever since Joyce Lim, i don't recall splurging that much on skincare. when i thought Joyce Lim was already a killer for my pocket, i took my virgin step out of the doctor's regime and tried on my own company's products. honestly, if i don't witness how good the products would be, i couldn't convince the thousands of potential customers out there.
so yup, i took my 1st step. i decided to drop Joyce Lim is because her products no longer works for me. yes, my face was alot better than it was 3 to 4 years ago. however, i couldn't continue using her products as my skin is slowly aging and she's not tweaking my regime. furthermore, my eczema tends to break out during hormonal changes and she's not intending to do anything about it. to her, it's a skin condition that "couldn't be cured". oh well...
i finally had my consultation and bought more than $600 worth of products. thank God for the 30% which the bill came down to $400+. Mei was with me, and she too, easily convinced to tweak her regime advised by the consultants. at least for her skin, she doesn't have much of a problem. i have some serious case of 'congestion', and i need more than the usual basic home care products to help. sigh.... yup, all for the sake of healthier looking skin. i guess i really had enough seeing other people's flawless skins and mine's like so problematic. yup, i'm somewhat anticipating the results in a few month's time!
as for work, the pace slowed down a great deal. that's coz' all PR and copywriting materials are done and the work is chucked at my designer's. now i'm only waiting for proof-reading, and also going through the intricate details of all the artwork produced. basically i'm going to work now just to handle some production stuff - cutting papers. hahahaha... as bizarre as that sounds, it's true! like they told me, enjoy it while i can, till the next tidal wave of work comes again.
so yup, i took my 1st step. i decided to drop Joyce Lim is because her products no longer works for me. yes, my face was alot better than it was 3 to 4 years ago. however, i couldn't continue using her products as my skin is slowly aging and she's not tweaking my regime. furthermore, my eczema tends to break out during hormonal changes and she's not intending to do anything about it. to her, it's a skin condition that "couldn't be cured". oh well...
i finally had my consultation and bought more than $600 worth of products. thank God for the 30% which the bill came down to $400+. Mei was with me, and she too, easily convinced to tweak her regime advised by the consultants. at least for her skin, she doesn't have much of a problem. i have some serious case of 'congestion', and i need more than the usual basic home care products to help. sigh.... yup, all for the sake of healthier looking skin. i guess i really had enough seeing other people's flawless skins and mine's like so problematic. yup, i'm somewhat anticipating the results in a few month's time!
as for work, the pace slowed down a great deal. that's coz' all PR and copywriting materials are done and the work is chucked at my designer's. now i'm only waiting for proof-reading, and also going through the intricate details of all the artwork produced. basically i'm going to work now just to handle some production stuff - cutting papers. hahahaha... as bizarre as that sounds, it's true! like they told me, enjoy it while i can, till the next tidal wave of work comes again.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
2 weeks...
it has been 2 weeks since I've started work. honestly, as exciting as it is everyday, it is also a whole lot of getting used to. after resting for 2.5 mths, i have some difficulty tuning in to work again. and also, after my 2nd day of work, i had to work OT already, almost every day. even i have to find time to do some work at home over the weekends too. it's somewhat fun, perhaps something i don't mind, but it's also relatively physically and mentally draining. even my Boss could feel that i'm 'punctured' already. well, i guess he cant expect me to run a 10km marathon without running for more than 2 months right?
anyway, he has high hopes for me since the 1st day i've started work. and i'm determined to keep up to his expectations. i get insecure at most times coz' i do feel as if i'm not working up to my own expectations, hence his expectations. i don't know if my expectations are the same as his, or possibly higher. so i constantly feel that i could do better, even though he would never fail to give me some encouragements or a pat on the back that i'm doing good.
i guess most importantly, i really enjoyed my work. alot of freehand, till i'm actually insecure if i had it all right. and i'm really blessed that my boss gives me the freedom. even though his directions may not be very clear, and i do get confused too, but ultimately i enjoyed the entire experience. it's really God-sent, and i've been grateful everyday. :)
and only 2 weeks of work, getting in depth with this whole beauty business, i've actually began to scrutinize other ppl's skin! it's like so OMG! i guess this happens when i'm constantly exposed to co-workers' great skins, and i'm depressed about mine. even the big lady boss's skin, who's in her 50s, also better than mine. in fact, almost flawless! it does motivate me about the products. and i'm really tempted to take a shot with their products and treatments. like my boss said, i need to be a convert myself before i could be their Brand Angel/Spokesperson. with a staff discount of 30%, really, it's attractive.
anyway, my cleanser is about done. rather than going back to the hospital to get my supplies, i might as well start using theirs. it's gonna be more expensive, but the discount makes the price on par. so why not? and i'm actually excited, thinking about it! LOL!
anyway, he has high hopes for me since the 1st day i've started work. and i'm determined to keep up to his expectations. i get insecure at most times coz' i do feel as if i'm not working up to my own expectations, hence his expectations. i don't know if my expectations are the same as his, or possibly higher. so i constantly feel that i could do better, even though he would never fail to give me some encouragements or a pat on the back that i'm doing good.
i guess most importantly, i really enjoyed my work. alot of freehand, till i'm actually insecure if i had it all right. and i'm really blessed that my boss gives me the freedom. even though his directions may not be very clear, and i do get confused too, but ultimately i enjoyed the entire experience. it's really God-sent, and i've been grateful everyday. :)
and only 2 weeks of work, getting in depth with this whole beauty business, i've actually began to scrutinize other ppl's skin! it's like so OMG! i guess this happens when i'm constantly exposed to co-workers' great skins, and i'm depressed about mine. even the big lady boss's skin, who's in her 50s, also better than mine. in fact, almost flawless! it does motivate me about the products. and i'm really tempted to take a shot with their products and treatments. like my boss said, i need to be a convert myself before i could be their Brand Angel/Spokesperson. with a staff discount of 30%, really, it's attractive.
anyway, my cleanser is about done. rather than going back to the hospital to get my supplies, i might as well start using theirs. it's gonna be more expensive, but the discount makes the price on par. so why not? and i'm actually excited, thinking about it! LOL!
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