after a long while...

sorry that i hadn't been updating for a good long session coz' i hardly get to lay my hands on the PC whenever i'm home. 1stly, my stupid brother would be hogging the PC claiming he's studying and crap but he's watching VCDs; and 2ndly, i'm out with YM whenever there's time since he was quite free for the pass week doing nothing.

after my school commenced, i've been working at Bugis most of my time. don't really like it because i'm not on my turf despite i'm familiar with the surroundings. unlike back at Raffles Place where i would be given ample opportunities to carry out certain tasks Lis* assigned. basically, i'm pretty much "on my own" as she's quite supportive most of the time. here at Bugis, i felt very much like a relieve staff than anything else. which is no wonder they perceived me as "still a learning member", where i had to be told to do things. felt so misunderstood.

anyway, today Lis told me that she would be transferring to Bugis. she felt injusticed as she poured in so much efforts to this shop and the next person get to enjoy her fruits of labour. i know, that's life. but i didn't want her to go. she was what that made me felt "home" at Raffles Place. in addition, she taught me a great deal.

also, after work, she sat down and talked to me. she shared with me her views on my performance, my likelihood of transferring upon confirmation, and what to expect upon my confirmation. she seriously sounds as if i wouldn't be able to work with her again. she said things like "if anything goes wrong, don't be scared k? you can still call and look for me. i'll be here for you." but she's sweet, isn't it?

suddenly, i felt so lost. the feeling of losing someone i could really depend on, and someone whom i know would be there watching over me and guiding me, is really terrible that could bring tears to my eyes. after all, i've grown attached to her and already beginning to work real good as a team. sigh...

on top of that, she told me the problems i would be expecting to come across if i'm to be put alone to handle a shop myself. seriously speaking, the thought of handling things myself when there's no one else i could direct to kind of scares me. maybe she has drafted out the worse case scenario to get me prepared. but then again, nothing is impossible and also, to this world is nothing uncommon. cases where a wrongly altered pants required me to realter on the spot within 10 mins, or a junior staff had accidentally cut a hole in the pants, or a customer complains for whatever crap reasons. i felt so insecure.

i probably know myself as someone who would just go ahead with the situation when mistakes are done. and the challenged would be more like how to damage control than to prevent it. nonetheless, i know most of it comes from experiences and getting my feet wet while keeping my cool. sometimes, if it wasn't for the pay, i wouldn't mind just being a junior where i needn't to worry anything else.

i didn't know i have became so passive....

perhaps, i shall see my soon-to-be promotion as a positive challenge to learn more, with a much "assured" authority to create. more authority means more responsibilities (which i hate it but yearned for it.. it's such a love-hate situation), which also means i'm put in charged. i guess i need to get out of my comfort zone in order to rejoice this. haa...

YM started his work in Air-Force already. apparently, he was so nervous about his 1st day of work that he couldn't get to sleep! hahaha... but it turned out that there wasn't anything for him to do till somewhere in late September where his whatever course would commence. so he would be studying like me! *grins*

ok, i haven't uploaded the photos in fotopages yet. i've yet to find time to do so. 600 odd pics are pretty time consuming. in addition, i need to upload some great videos to youtube as well. and right now, my rest days are rare to find and they're also occupied with classes as well. haix...

at the moment, other than been harassed by Abel for his meet up to talk about Great Eastern's life policies, studies so far seemed quite alright, im adapting constant changes in work, and life with YM still going on well, there's nothing much to harp on. i'm still surviving, adapting and thinking... whatever.

anyway, i'm getting a lappie soon. real soon. can't stand not having the luxury to use the PC...

okie, nitez.