Suddenly, my mind went blank. Initially I had a lot of things going through my mind but when I’m ready to sit down and blog, blank. Or perhaps I just didn’t know how to begin….

I just celebrated YM’s bday last week. So apparently the arrangements were pretty last minute and I was there liaising here and there. At least, everything went as per planned. Instead of just both of us, I dragged his friends in. I figured that he’s more of a person who would be happier to spend his bday with his friends rather than his gf alone. Of coz, I’m not implying that just spending the day with me is not what he wants, but he would be happier if there’re other ppl around too. You know, all that hype and attention he can have for that day….

Just glad that he enjoyed himself….

~

I don’t know how long I can still tahan my mum. She’s not making things easy for me, and likewise, I didn’t see why I need to make things easier for her. And it’s all because of my dog.

Ker ker said it’s like she has something that belonged to me and hence it creates this “excuse” to see me which that thought really irks me. For some reason, I’m not thrilled to see her again. Similarly, if I’m staying with my mum, I will have this same reaction towards my dad. Anyway, I would rather stay with my dad coz at least he’ll leave me alone while my mum can never do that.

I’m guilty for saying real nasty things to my mum out of spite but I seriously had it up to my boiling point when she always wants to get things her way. At least in many things I’ve been accommodating and chose to close an eye so to make my life happier. Apparently, things had gotten abit too much for me to bear la….

Like I said, I never wanted to share Fuji. Not coz’ I’m selfish or what but I’m sparing a thought for my old boy. And also, he’s definitely not a toy to be dished around liddat.

To make situations worse, every time they would happily bring Fuji back to their place, none of them would make the effort to return him to me. My concept is simple: you borrow something, you return it and not me taking it from u. of coz there would be times of exception when everyone’s busy and all, fine, I’ll go take the dog. Otherwise, seriously, it’s just manners. They have their lives, I have mine. I don’t see why constantly I need to be the one to accommodate to their plans and not mine. It’s a give and take situation; I can’t always be giving and them taking.

Every time I think about this, every time I talked to someone about this, I felt heat in my eyes and my sight gets blurry with anger. I just cant see when all these will stop….

I’m not asking anything from anybody. All I want is to just treasure what I have now and let go what I don’t have. I have been bitter and miserable, and I so want to step out of all these and see that sunshine again.