on a serious note...

i guess i always tend to know things that i shouldn't know and in the end, i had sworn secrecy over it. it's not about the secret i have to bear with me to the grave, but more of the question to something else: why do people get married? do they get married becoz' of love or out of obligations? or it's a mixed of both?

there are just so many questions going through my mind right now, so tough to organize them.

"don't marry someone you can live with; marry someone you can't live without", is that true or it's just a saying? when you're told that he/she never felt this way with his/her partner in a marriage before, you start to wonder if this person married for the right reasons. and do they even think hard enough before taking the plunge? or it's a matter of "going with the flow..."? then again, is it that difficult to maintain the kind of sparks in a marriage? when there're no more sparks, does that spell the end of a marriage, regardless how much the couple went through?

things like that makes me wonder and eventually gets cynical. it's no wonder why some people would end up being single for the rest of their lives. hearing stories like these doesn't give singles like me any kind of security. yes, anything could've happen. but when you're being told that, "this is not just a fling and we're serious about each other" despite being married, values taught to stay faithful to a marriage is no longer there. i'm not implying these people have no values; it's that people would be more willing to follow their heart than doing what's right or wrong anymore.

sometimes i wonder is it because as we aged, we tend to do things with our heart than with the head. after all, time is ticking away and we began to realize how important it is to be truly happy with what we have and achieve for things we don't. yet back then in our younger days, we sincerely think that we have the whole life to spend.

for me, i realize i'm slowly switching from a head-person to a heart-person. things i've done are right out of my heart, respecting how i felt and act upon what my heart tells me to do. unbashfully, i felt good when it's done right out from the heart even though consequences can be nasty. but i think as long as you don't end up letting yourself down, there shouldn't have any regrets. same goes to marriage - it should be what i want deep down, and not what i have i do. ultimately, happiness and love inter-twines each other. and yes, i want to be happy, for as long as it would last.

like duh.