it is quite amazing to able to discover more about myself when i'm working. i guess this would be one of the rare times where i needn't to hear from a 3rd party what kind of person i am when it comes to working. and unfortunately, this discovery did brought me some shame.
finally, i have came to my senses that i'm not an independent worker. i need external factors to get me moving, motivated in order to produce favorable results. sad to say, it's only the presence of higher authority pushed me to my limits and perhaps, way past it. in a result, i felt the sense of achievement when i managed to accomplish certain things to show my efficiency. however, on the other hand, i have clearly shown my reliance.
well, let's not dwell into the negative aspect. i'm proud of myself, for today. period.
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