life can be so ironic. one moment i was enjoying myself, and the other, i was made to send my grandfather off his last journey. he passed on yesterday evening, somewhere around 8.45pm.
nobody really cried. maybe coz' it was too sudden. he suddenly not breathing and all, and his pulse slowly weakened. when i arrived, i touched him. his body was already lifeless, however, still slightly warm. so i guess i was a tad bit late despite i took a cab down. and my aunties and all still debating if he's still alive or had he leave for good. i guess he was, but just that life in him quietly slipping away.
i was pretty numb about the whole incident. i felt sad, naturally. however, it didn't tug my heart. perhaps i wasn't close to him in the 1st place, and also being the "girl" in that family was just not significant in the household. so since i wasn't really bothered in the family, i wasn't really bothered about them as well. sad case huh? anyway, he died peacefully. that's as far as i can see.
but i'm wondering how come he left so quietly. is it that he's contented almost everyone turned up at his near-deathbed yesterday? or is it because he didn't want us to stop him from leaving? how i wished he had some energy to tell us... anything.
i wished i could see "something". i must be crazy to wish for that but at this moment, i just wanna see "it". actually, i hope to see my granddad again...
goodbye, ah gong.
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