委屈

why is it that when you're into something serious and the ugly side of that person beginning to rear its ugly head? is it that all these while i'm so blind to the ugly side or the angel i used to know has begin to take departure?

i've heard from others that the journey of the wedding preparations will show the true colors of the partner. i don't know if i've shown my true colors but i'm beginning to see YM's. i can't help stop to ponder whether we should just postpone this whole wedding thing.

i've learnt that some things i need to give in, due to the fact that i need to know how much does it matter to him. if i know this matters to him a whole lot more than i do, i know i need to retreat and let him have it. you can say that i've come to terms where carrying on struggling is useless, might as well let him have it his way when i know i can relent. but now, it seemed that i have to be succumb to him coz' he'll use money to suppress my needs. and because of money, he can disregard almost everything else.... even me. well, apparently he wanted it his way more than my way despite anything. so, who he's marrying -me or himself?

he promised that things would be the same as it was when we're dating. now with all these shit he's giving me, i SERIOUSLY doubt it would be the same.

maybe we should draw things clear: your money is not the same as my money. at least with my money, i can do whatever i could and not even accounted for him. likewise, whatever he wants to do with his finance, up to him.

you know, it's still incredulous that his friend is a 二十四孝老公 where he can respect his wife's decision even though as a 3rd party, i swear sometimes his wife can be really demanding and carries things too far. nevertheless, his objective is wanting his wife to be happy. what about mine? his happiness is his happiness, my happiness is his unhappiness.

will he eventually come to his senses to put me in his priority rather than all day in and out is all about money? perhaps, i would REALLY appreciate if he can stop and think in MY shoes on how i feel.

money has no feelings, I DO!