things are different...

early this week, Jacob called me and asked if he could borrow my sunblock lotion. without thinking much, i agreed to lend him. we tried to arrange a time to meet, and finally settled on a Wednesday, after dinner with my department. i didnt think much of it, since he said he may be going to Sentosa over the weekends.

on Wednesday, he came by my place and waited till my colleagues gave me a ride home. i went back home and took the sunblock for him. somehow or rather, i didn't know how come he decided to tell me the truth - he's going to Tioman with YM and friends.

i don't blame him, coz' i know he did consider how i would have felt if i knew. he tried to make me feel better that they're considering to go again in Aug/Sept, and this time they'll get me to go. really, i didn't think it was necessary. put me and YM in a same room? or we're going to share a room with the others? even if sharing a room with others, put me and him on the same bed? things are not the same... people just cannot assume things are the same.

really, don't have to include me into their plans.

YM msged me that it's not the same without me around... and he missed me. i didnt reply coz' i didnt see a need to. after all, he didnt come around and tell me about this trip and prolly had the means to keep me in the dark. so i feel they should have cont'd to keep mum about this.

it has been more than a month, i didnt hear anything from him. and i think i've moved on from there already. like my bitch said, "time waits for nobody....". maybe i'm impatient, but there's nothing for me to be holding on to. i sat there, waiting... and nothing happened. not exactly very motivating. and almost all the time, Jacob has to be the middleman. he's tired, and i'm tired too. if he wants to be passive, then he can cont'd to be. i'm not pushing him to do anything, just thought whatever has to be done have to be coming from within, and not out of obligation or someone said nasty.

there're some genuine proposals out there, all put on hold. maybe it's time to look them through...