Prematured death

i wonder if there's such thing as a superstition about having to announce a new r'ship during the 1st "trimester". i know about preggies, but what about r'ship? any? barely 1 month of dating, it ended. i think, it barely even started full scale.

the 1st 2 weeks were just awesomely sweet. we met up every other day. we were very much into each other. both were giving our best, no reservations. it's warm and fuzzy in the tummy, like i've previously mentioned. now i think about it, i still don't understand how 2 weeks later, everything just spiraled downwards.

all it started was a silly prank call. someone called him while he was outstationed for work, claimed to know who he was, and then some parts of his ugly past relationships. he freaked, apparently too easily. he text me in the wee hours when i was aslp, asking if i have given anyone his number, or do i know anyone who's in indonesia (based on the country code). and when i spoke to him, he had his nerves frazzled, and simply became incoherent. he was at the brink of inconsolable. he started interogating me who i shared his past with and all that. and a few days later, he said he needed some space to sort things out. i was taken aback. almost 2 weeks later of little or no communication, he text me saying he wanted to break it off, and "sorry and take good care of yourself!".

i probed, and he refused to say much, only that it was all in bad timing and unfortunate that such things (prank call) happened and when it did, he had his doubts and reservations already. alot of coincidental incidents which are too coincidental to believe and all that. said it was up to me to believe his "crap", and he admitted that it was irresponsible of him to break up with a text, but he doesn't know how to face me as he doesn't want to be asking questions that he doesn't want to know. seriously, i don't entirely know what he meant by that last sentence.

throughout the 2 weeks, he was quite hysterical. he was short-fused as he kept thinking of the prank caller, trying to figure out his intentions, and who would actually "betrayed" him. and the questions clouded his mind till he was unable to communicate with me, and to the point where he actually had to request for a time-out from me. in my honest opinion, it's too drama.

perhaps i managed to figure out (the prank call) for him, a little too logical and easy; or perhaps he just kept thinking and forming his own conclusions..... i have no friggin' idea! it's so infuriating! why am i the scapegoat of this silly episode??! unless someone doesn't want me to be with him...

it's still nonetheless painful, and a part of me died as well. i did put my heart in, i was keen to give it my best shot.

i'm feeling really injust now. i want a proper closure, an explanation! and i somewhat feel a spur to kick his butt to wake up his idea. i think he takes this r'ship a little too lightly. i hope i'm only following what the spirit spurs me on to....